Desperate for Coffee

Moving

2011-02-28T14:19:00.000-08:00

I've currently moved here .

It's a personal decision to completely start over.

I hope ya'll join me for funnies, coffee and a little bit of sass.

**UPDATE**

Now moved here

Murphy's Law

2011-02-24T16:17:00.000-08:00

Important appointment at 9am and a major job interview at 1pm.

Via. Buffalo News

Yeah... that's how it's gonna be tomorrow.

My grandmother's got the entire church praying for me to find a job and my close friend in North Carolina has a million candles burning in his house. Everyone is rooting for me, expect for the weather.

I hate snow. I really do. It's like the burden that keeps us going here though. Us buffaloians are miserable people who in the winter time, you just don't want to approach. The attitude I can deal with, on a daily basis. It's the driving.

It's the sliding when you want to stop. The holding your breath at every intersection because not only you can't stop, neither can anyone else. It's the person doing 90 mph in the bad weather and then stop right on your bumper expecting you to speed up. It's the not being able to see the stop signs or lights, or other cars.

It's scary. Very scary and if it wasn't for the prospect of me getting a great wonderful job close to home and the appointment that will help my family out during my unemployment, I would be curled up on the couch with a cup of coffee.

Wish me luck and say a little prayer. For the job, and for safe driving.

Alright...

2011-02-19T20:38:00.000-08:00

So they say.. even though I don't know who "they" are... when shit hits the fan, it spreads. The start of the new year I had a lot of dreams and wishful thinking that this bullshit would end and life would move on to normal. No. It didn't.

And I lost my job.

I didn't think it would of been huge. I'm a complete jack of all trades but quickly realized that I'm a jack in the box. A box which won't open with a crowbar and some WD40 to save it's life. Financially, I'm a mess. Emotionally, I'm a mess. But looking at the good parts of all of this, I have actually spent some quality time with my son. Deciding what I want in life and what I can get in life are two completely different things. Knowing that my family and friends are truly the best people.

SO!!!!!...

I'm still looking.. and looking... and my butt got numb today sitting on the floor with the laptop at my sister's house.

It better be worth it.

Change

2010-12-28T22:56:00.001-08:00

Change...

In just a few short days 2010 will be over. I can't imagine what has changed in this past year. I kinda stopped writing and I want to apologize but can’t. Everything that happened after that, it was a mess. It still is a mess. So much of a mess it’s going to take a while to clean up, even with my lazy ass.

One thing that has majorly changed. I’m not going to censor. There is no holding back here. You don’t like it, get out. My life is fucked up, entirely. Welcome to it and be amazed.

So in July of this year. I met a man. This man was someone who kept me alive for a few times… kept me going. I’m young, stupidly in love sometimes. Love can blind you like nothing in the world. It shines more than the sun, burning your eyes to the point where you can’t see anything beyond that. Your brain wants to tell you to look away but it just seems so beautiful. Until you feel the pain.

Like I said, my life is kinda fucked up right now. Nothing really has made a step towards greatness yet. I’m hoping that this new year is going to make a good step forward.

So keep in touch with wishing good lucks and all of that. I’ll be needing it.

Gravity - Falling from Earth.

2010-09-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

So this is what happened. I'm going to make this as short as possible because it's been a few months and my head hurts.

So party at my house. Honestly, it was great. From what I can remember. Tequila and Jack Daniels do NOT go hand in hand together. I got hit with a bottle rocket in the face and don't remember it. Bad huh? Well, I realized how much of a mess I was getting into.Sober words are drunken thoughts. My now ex came home and ordered everyone to go home. All so that he can sit on the couch and drink by himself. We ended up going to a fireworks show (No, I wasn't driving). Came back and talked a little. My ex said a few choice words, ended up leaving with the car for a little while, and me freaking out thinking he was going to get into a accident.

I know that it's not politically correct to start talking to another guy on a nightly basis like I had been. It was more of a "I know you like me, I'm just trying to keep this friends, ya you're a cool guy". One day, I basically said ketchup this, I'm going to do it. At my best friend's son's birthday, we talked, we kissed, we fell in love.
I tried to calm it down, but my heart and brain just wouldn't let it happen.

I let my ex know how I felt. What happened, the whole sha-bang.

It was more a decision that I felt that he didn't want to be in my son's life. It really had 95% nothing to do with what happened or that I fell in love with someone else. I know it seems like I'm making excuses, but it's more of that situation, you have to be there to understand.

My ex and I since the beginning of May have been talking about nothing more than work. We work for the same company, see each other everyday. The romance died. I talked to him countless times about the fact that I didn't want to go home, and talk about what happened that day at work. It would be different if we worked on different floors, or different departments, but we don't. When we'd go out to dinner or some-place out on a date, that's all we'd talk about.

The part about my son. I confirmed this the other day, he wanted to come home and have my son go straight to bed. Now, I don't work a early shift. I get out about 9pm and pick up my son around 10, then go home. I would like to spend some time with him before bed, but my scheduling is going to change soon. I asked him why he wanted him to go to bed as soon as we get home, he stated that he wanted some peace and quiet and not have to deal with him.

That confirmed it. What I've been feeling for years. When we first met, he told me he didn't want kids. At that time, I didn't want anymore either. But things changed, and I just started wanting to have another. He stuck with his decision, and then some.

With "him" because I don't want to disclose his name just yet. It's utterly amazing. Basically, I need to tell him to get out of my head sometimes because we think so alike. He's older than me, a divorcee like me. Has two kids, wants another one. Loves my son to pieces and would do anything for him. The reason why I know that this is something that he's not just doing to please me, like the ex, is because he's known my son longer than I've known him. An acquaintance of my ex-husband. When I say it's a small world, it's a really really small world, especially in Buffalo.

So that's the drama of my life. I'm happy finally with someone completely no drawbacks or second thoughts. We're getting an apartment in November and starting our life together. I know it looks like I'm jumping from one guy to another but if you have that feeling with someone, like gravity, you can't just let it go.

I just can't let him go.

Semper

2010-07-28T00:21:00.000-07:00

Hey Katie… how have you been?

Busy… like crazy busy. Like I think I’m losing my brain busy.

Wow, that sounds stressful.

You have no idea.

This is the conversation I’ve been dealing with for maybe the past three weeks. A few aspects will contribute to this though.

A. I got a temporary promotion. It sounds weird and it is. I’m basically taking care of the new employees and making sure that they don’t quit. Which really isn’t working right now since a few of them left already. Like never came back. There’s a black-hole somewhere in Buffalo where my employees just fall into.

I really shouldn’t joke about that, this area has a common annoyance of nuclear problems left from people who are dumb-asses and don’t know how to take care of their waste. It’s nasty

Anywhoo, the hours are the same but I’ve gone from sitting on my ass for 8 hrs straight to walking my ass 8 hrs straight. It’s good, I think I lost a pant size already.

B. It’s the summer. During the summer, I’m usually non-existent. Most people wonder where I am, a lot.

I hide.

Seriously though, this area has 4 months of sunshine and then we all turn into evil little bastards who don’t like the world. Snow does hideous things to people.

Chilling with friends is big. I wasn’t blessed with a huge family with thousands of cousins that you need to interrogate anyone you plan on sleeping with at a party. Just in case.

So my friends are huge. Like planet huge. And they’re awesome.

C. From my last post. My mind has been in a million places at once. I’m trying to get my outlook taken care of. Not the computer system, but my outlook in life.

Have you ever questioned your existence? Like what we live for. Why do we get up each day and do the things that we do? What’s the point in some things and should we be doing more of others?

Don’t worry, I’m not joining the peace corps. But I would if I didn’t have kids.

Ya’ll will or should know that I’m at a tender age of 22. My life is just starting. And it didn’t start in the beginning like it should, the early middle was crap, so I’m trying to make sure that the rest of my days are better.

Honestly, I don’t want to be 30 and miserable. Not that being 30 is being miserable, it’s that’s the age I’m thinking “Ok, I’ve done this-this and this and this is what’s become of it. Did I do a good job?” Every decision you make today will affect you tomorrow but you can’t chance fate.

Speaking of her, she’s been sneaky lately.

In a really good way.

Bare

2010-07-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

This blank screen has been the bareness of my existence. Words pour out of my head, but somehow can't seem to make it to paper... or this ticker.

Real emotion. Bare emotion. No hold back, looking to the heavens. It seems to never end. My heart burns sometimes, and trying to put it to paper has seemed to be the water in the sierra. Can't seem to get there yet.

Closing my eyes, hearing music. Ripping out the thoughts in my mind. But there still there at the end of the day, and somehow it feels so good.

Sleep isn't necessary, staring at the stars and realizing the world isn't so dark. Even through the darkness, there's still light. The clouds do move, the wind forces.

The stars will shine. The bareness will never end, no more. I'm done holding back.

I really need to get off my ass

2010-07-14T14:00:00.000-07:00

Not literly... but kinda get down on my ass. Sitting in front of the computer at night has been more of a surfing the internet, thanks to stumble. There's just so much CRAP to look at. I don't think it ever ends.

Is there an end to the internet? Or is it a never ending net of stuff that keeps our minds perked. I find something that inspires me (Insert my previous post about Kidtropolis) and write about it, but then go onto the next page. Where it inspires me again.

Sometimes I find things that awe me instead of make me want to write. Eye candy of sorts, it never ends.

So being called a Versatile Blogger from Nomie is a great honor.

The rules of this game is to nominate 15 different bloggers that you think are versatile. There are so many. Its going to take me a minute or two to pick and choose. Especially since I've been surfing the eye candy instead of writing.

Eye Candy... SEE???

And then I need to tell you seven random things about me...

But, because this is real life. I'm writing out of my fingers right now, not by the backspace button. I'm gonna finish watching the rest of Deadliest Catch: The last Phil episode, dry my tears and get some sleep.

Thanks again Nomie!!!

If I had a million dollars...

2010-07-13T21:41:00.000-07:00

I would build this for my baby boy.

The rooms at Kidtropolis is something straight out of a little boy's imagination or a fairy tale book.

I spent quite a while marveling at the details of each room and the heart and soul that was put into each piece.
Everything was designed and built by Kidtropolis, nothing bought from Walmart or Ikea. Custom to your child's dream room.

Again, if I had a million dollars.

Or maybe just a really good saw and some paint?

Boredom

2010-07-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

What happens when I get bored and sick?

Like a raging ass sick which has taken over my body temporary. I need a exorcist this shit is so bad!

I'm not gonna get into details. But the boredom has made me creative.

Like the blog. Looks good? No?

And this..

When I get bored, I like to stick myself with needles. Lots of them, to make a pretty drawing into something that will never leave my body.

A few more are in my mind, maybe for another day. Anyone got one on their foot?

So yes, boredom. You do oh so much more than drunkenness.

Let's get wasted! It's for our country, damnit!

2010-07-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

I honestly started writing a post about how the 4th of July brings families together, what kind of great food you can make, etc.etc. but I got kinda side tracked.

Yea... that's what happened. Bad, Katie, Bad.

So I'm not-so regretting it today. A little hung over and extremely hot. I think the liquor is trying to escape my body, I don't blame it really.

My best friend and her kids, her friend John and my best two guy friends, Steveo and Scottie came over for a fun-filled time. Water balloons are the best for ~~adults~~ kids on a 90 degree day. We changed our clothes three times, and then went for fireworks at a local middle school.

Trust me, everyone's surprised that I remember this much.

The one thing I do distinctively remember, is a bottle rocket that went horribly wrong. My thigh and lip are swollen now.

No, it wasn't in a drunken mess where I decided to light one with my teeth, that would of been funny though.

One blew up just as it left the bottle, instead of in the sky, I was the only one not coherent enough, nor fast enough, to move out of the way.

So, lessons learned:

Do not mix Tequila and Jack Daniels together.
Everything people say while your drunk makes perfect sense, no matter what they're saying.
My friends are the greatest in the world.
No more bottle rockets. We'll get the big shit next year.

I hope everyone had a happy 4th of july!

It will never be the same...

2010-06-30T21:14:00.000-07:00

Jumping on the bandwagon again, thanks to Natalie aka Mommy of a ~~Monster~~ I mean toddler and infant twins.

The classic phrases first time mother's get all the time. "You're a mama now!" or "Oh you'll get the hang of it". And then you want to either cry or ~~punch the person~~ politely thank them for their thoughtfulness and assistance. We sometimes, I mean all the time, think of the things we've forgotten, lost, banished or completely went into a black hole.

You’ve completely lost your purse to tissues, hot-wheel cars, loads of candy for bribing, various McDonald’s toys, etc. Never again will you just have a cute clutch that will hold just a few things.
Going to the store by yourself is like taking a trip cross country. Taking every single long side road to get there and back, taking your sweet time getting through the store. Not taking the self check out and getting behind the little old lady with 50 different types of cat food. And she has coupons!
A granola bar and a huge cup of coffee is breakfast of champions.
You know every Disney, Nick and Cartoon Network theme song by heart and can sing them at ANY time. Sometimes in the most inappropriate situations.
You ask where the potty is.
Being bored is not an luxury anymore. There’s always something to procrastinate with.
You cut up your husband’s meat as well as your kids before each meal. Just in case.
Doing your nails in the shower is normal weekly thing.
Your feet stick to the kitchen floor… and you don’t care.
Going clothes shopping eventually ends up in buying more clothes for the kids, and one piece for you.
Cussing turns into a game where instead of &@$% it is now fudge. And then they ask for a fudgesicle.
At work, you find yourself writing on post-it notes with crayon.
You’re willing to kiss your kid’s boo-boo, no matter where it is.
Cleaning the kitchen at 1am is not crazy, it’s a daily routine.
At night when the house is clean, the kids are in bed and you are exhausted, you still spend 10 minutes watching the kids sleep, and thanking God for all of it.

I just don't stumble, I plant my face into the sidewalk.

2010-06-28T21:16:00.000-07:00

Ok... here's the thing. I'm sitting here, in front of the computer, playing with this thing. It's big, huge even. Lots of people probably use it but don't have the guts to say so. Mine in blue and green, but it could possibly be just my preference. It's kinda lazy way of doing things, but I like it that way. No real human interaction, no clean up necessary.

What did you think it was???

To take a break from the clicking and the eye gouging, here's Tues Tag Along.

Don't forget to add the blogs to the stumble!

We interupt this Earthquake to bring you a Tornado Warning

2010-06-23T20:38:00.000-07:00

Has anyone seen the movie 2012? I was thinking about it about 2pm dis afternoon. Here in Buffalo, New York. We usually see snow.

Like this type of snow.

Today. We felt a earthquake. Completely out of our comfort zone, I called my mother in law in Eden, NY. She felt it. Aaron called his dad in Derby, NY. He felt it.

Later we learn the earthquake is from Canada! 500 miles away. (The quake, not Canada.) C'mon! Nothing screams zombies and apocalyptic tragedies as something like this. This is horribly confusing. Here's a diagram.

Ok, I'm over-reacting here. I'm sorry.

But it was cool. No damage, no one died and certainly no zombies.

Yet.

We went out for dinner, everything as usual. Everyone is talking about it. I think one person had his windshield broken and someone's cheap Wal-mart pool fell apart.

Then we get a Tornado warning. Again, to refresh.. it's Buffalo, NY.

This isn't So. Cal or Arkansas. The worst we see is about 12 feet of snow and we dig ourselves out. No big deal.

And, it all brings me to this song.

Tues Tag Along on a Hot Car

2010-06-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Tuesday Tag Along, where I shamelessly put my name on a list with a group of bloggers hoping for someone to read this so I don't look like a crazy lady. Join, please, so others like me don't have to go into the loony bin.

So my last few posts have been well... not as unique as they should be, way to emo as they ought to be and to far apart. I want to say I'm sorry for any lack of creativity that I've stripped from this place. I can promise that I will try and try again to drink more alcohol and get out of the *ddddduuuuhhhhhh* *gurgle* *gurgle* staring at my computer screen like it's a porn movie syndrome that I've been in.

Good thing, I just haven't been staring at this screen that long. If you look or remember the post where I said I'm to scared to ride muscle cars and muscle men. Weelll... let's take off one.

Friends and I went to a car show. A really perty car show and now Aaron and I are thinking of the future. Ya know, wedding bells and screaming babies and all that ~~shit~~ nice things. We got to talking about buying one of these beauties some day. In the long distant future, probably when dogs grow wings and my ass gets smaller.

Please ignore the bug... well don't. That's my beauty. Whenever we see one on the road, we kinda get giddy and try to figure out with double agent is in one. There's only 4 in the tri-state area!!!

Darrell got excited over the Charger, obviously. His father is a Dukes of Hazzard addict. Full plaid shirts, running from the law, hound dog, daisy duke = don't sleep with your cousin thing. He was upset that it was blue instead of orange. But what can ya do? Not everyone wants to drag around a confederate flag on the top of their car.

It was nice, very nice actually, seeing old friends who know me best and who can understand my humor. Nos Bottle - 5. Katie - 2. Really, I can't put the freakin' cap on for the life of me. My friend Dan threatened to go get a sippy cup, I told him to leave that for the jack & coke. Seriously, don't waste a good thing man.

So sippy cup, sleeping cousins and hot cars aside. I'm back, sorta. I've always been here but I'm going to try harder at being myself instead of a drone.

Promise on my future cars life. Minus the small ass.

Dear Dad

2010-06-19T23:34:00.000-07:00

Hey Dad.

How you’ve been? I’m sure you’re having the time of your life having a beer with Sr. and playing cards with Papa.

How’s Mom? Make sure that she’s happy, You always made her laugh.

Darrell is getting big. Huge even. He reminds me of you sometimes. Stubborn and hard headed. Never in my life did I think that my son would be as bad as I was. I really want to say I’m sorry for that. For being a little brat.

You’re going to be disappointed in me. I haven’t seen a race in over a year. Haven’t been to one either since Tony took me to Holland for the figure 8 races. The seats are uncomfortable and the beer is flat, what can I say?

Funny thing, I go by Nicholason and Hall each day to work. They had a huge sign on the front that said Boilermakers of America, I think you’d like it. Never went inside, I’m sure a lot of the guys will remember you but I’ve changed from the little 5 year old blond girl. They’d probably look at me like I’m crazy.

Grandma is doing okay. She’s really upset about how Doug is treating the house, I want to punch him sometimes. But it was her decision, and with this economy, I could of never kept up with it. Better to go with blood than anything else, right?

Aunt Marty and Uncle Bob are doing great too. She’s finally retired after all these years. But keeps on going, ya know? Never stopping. Oh… and make sure that Rusty gets a good walking.

Dexter’s fence is still up, and the hole in the wall from when I was so mad at you I threw a shoe. Oh wait.. You never knew about that. Sorry? I hid it with a N’Sync picture for years. Even though I think Justin Timberlake is annoying as hell. Oh yea, was that you that turned the light on a few years ago in your room? If it was, it scared the shit out of me. And my cat. I don’t think I moved that fast in years.

You were right about a lot of things. I see that now. Working to support your family is an honor, not a chore. I take pride in my work, even though I don’t get up off of my ass for 8 hours. You always told me that you didn’t want me to work with my hands, it’s not a woman’s job, but I do, in a different way.

You’d like Aaron. Even though he’s a democrat. He cares about me, a lot. The ethics, and the personal endeavors is amazing. He never stops learning and never stops teaching me the beauty of patience. I really think you and him would get along good, over a beer, of course. He’s really good for Darrell, and me too. Keeps us on our toes.

Surprisingly, you were wrong. I hate to say it but you were about one thing. I’m not to much of a cry baby to get a tattoo. And it didn’t hurt as much as you said it was, I think you were trying to scare me. Your last one, with the wolf howling at the moon, it’s really weird in some ways. My friends call us a pack, a family. Blood is strong but family is stronger. Even though we never shared the same blood, Dad, you’re always my father. I could never think of it any other way.

The days where I need the strength and the courage to get through a obstacle, I think of you. Never giving up, never giving in. Always strong and always with pride. You’ve been my rock, sort of speak, for the past 4 years. It’s been a long road, but I’m starting to finally get my life back together. I hope your proud.

I love you Daddy, I miss you... and Happy Father's Day.

R.I.P. Alan Binko

8/28/50-2/12/05

Sweaty boobs & Pinned back hair.

2010-06-16T18:59:00.000-07:00

It was my day off. Was is the key word here.

The day is coming to a close and I've accomplished so freakin' much I think I'm gonna pass out.

We can see the floor of our bedroom, first in months.

I can see the floor in my son's room, first in ever.

The main thing here is that I need to take a shower. Grimy, sweaty, smelly woman I am, cleaning takes a lot outta ya when it's 80 degrees.

And I'm making taco dip so when Aaron gets home, he'll be greeted by a ~~horny~~ happy me and a dish of fresh taco dip.

I am an awesome girlfriend but sorry dear, I definately won't look like this.

Wordless Wednesday - This is what I want to do sometimes

2010-06-15T22:12:00.001-07:00

Link

In my own defense....

2010-06-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

Where have I been?

Honestly I don't know.

Oh wait... at work. Sitting in front of a computer screen, looking at Christmas lights in the Que.

It seems like a bit and a half since I've blogged, or really tried. I want to apologize, in my own defense.

So instead of writing something miraculous because I just don't have the ~~bull-shit power~~ energy. I'm gonna steal this from Papoe who stole it from a crap load of people.

99 Things

~~1. Started your own blog~~
~~2. Slept under the stars~~
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
~~7. Been to Disneyland~~
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped
12. Visted Paris
~~13. Watched a lightning storm~~
~~14. Taught yourself an art from scratch~~
15. Adopted a child
~~16. Had food poisoning~~
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
~~21. Had a pillow fight~~
22. Hitch hiked
~~23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill~~
~~24. Built a snow fort~~
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

(I live 45 minutes away from N.F., I've been there SEVEN TIMES!)
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
~~35. Seen an Amish community~~

(If anyone is near Central New York, check out a little town called Penn Yan, NY.

It's surround by Amish Country)
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone Rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
~~45. Walked on a beach by moonlight~~
~~46. Been transported in an ambulance~~

(Rode in one just for shits and giggles)
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Effel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain

~~53. Played in the mud~~
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
~~58. Taken a martial arts class~~
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
~~61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies~~
62. Gone Whale Watching

~~63. Got flowers for no reason~~
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
~~67. Bounced a check~~
68. Flown in a helicopter
~~69. Save a favorite childhood toy~~
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
~~72. Pieced a quilt~~
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
~~75. Been fired from a job~~
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Publish a book
81. Visited the Vatican
~~82. Bought a brand new car~~
83. Walked in Jerusalem
~~84. Had your picture in the newspaper~~

(When I was a youngin', I had my picture in the paper a few times.

That's what you get for living in a town of 200.)
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on NYE
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life

(Not literally, but I've been told that by two people)
90. Sat on a jury
~~91. Met someone famous~~
92. Joined a book club
~~93. Gotten a tattoo~~

(I have two!)

~~94. Had a baby~~
95. Seen the Alamo in person
~~96. Swan in the Great Salt Lake~~

(I'm assuming the great lakes. Lake Erie!)
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
~~99. Been stung by a bee~~

So I haven't really seen much in my life. Never have been outside this time zone except once in a flight delay in Atlanta. But I've done a lot of things.

What have you done?

Crazy People

2010-06-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of crazy good people out there.

Lewis Black, Tim Burton, Barack Obama (c'mon, you know he's gotta be crazy to deal with all of this!)

But there are every day crazy good people

Courtesy of Finally Mom

Courtesy of Twenty Little Toes

THANK YOU!!!!!!

For the Trendy Blog Award •To receive this award, promise to share this with 10 other blog that you think are Trendy too.•Post about your award in your blog.•Share with the bloggers .• Ask them they need to give this award out to 10 as well.

For the Honest Scrap So the rules are telling 10 ~~lies~~ interesting things about myself, and then pass the award along to other great bloggers.

I love everything oriental. We've got my grandmother's Chinese tea napkins hung on the wall, a few Katanas and a ken-do stick (only for a deterrent, not actually used ~~outside the bedroom~~)
As much as I'm a computer hog, I will sit in the sun for a few hours a day just for the melatonin.
Once we've started, my boyfriend and I can have a pretty good political debate. Often other people will get involved and then us yell at them. :-)
I was once a hippy. Tie die shirts, hemp purse and hand made sandals. I was only 13.
The new mocha frappes at McDonalds are the bomb, but honestly if I drink to many, I'll become the fattest woman.
Getting me up successfully in the morning is like convincing a tiger that a nice bath is good for them.
Online, I'm like Martha Stewart with organizing files, pictures, etc. Offline, I'm lucky enough to find my toothbrush.
As a kid, my favorite cartoon show was Dragonball Z. Little did I know how awesome anime actually is.
I use to scrap. Like real big. But it got to costly and a lot of work. Maybe one day I'll get back into it.
I'm a sop for muscle cars and muscle men. But I'm to afraid to ride either one. Hehe.

Now after you've cried with boredom... here are the people receiving the award for awesomeness.

**Gotta share the love**

Finally Mom

Twenty Little Toes

Accidental Baby Maker

The Allison Wonderland

Adventures in Mommywood

Looking at the face of death... or rather a door.

2010-06-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

I'm back after work three 12 hour shifts in a row. Last night around 11pm, I was nearly crying to get out of there. It's my choice, but why does time have to go by so slow???

Literally crawling out of there last night, Aaron and I came home without the baby. My ex was nice enough to take him again for the night so that we could get some sleep and relax for a bit. And Darrell was asleep by the time we got out of work.

Two glasses of wine and the blue comedy tour is food for the soul.

Better news... I almost died.

Not really, but it felt that way and I will never take the middle elevator again.

I got in, the doors closed and they didn't open.

I didn't panic... until later. For some reason I just kept my calm, kinda huddled in a corner and waited for the security guard to come around. It's said that the elevators at my work are the oldest in the city.

What sucks is that I couldn't get a signal with my cell phone. There was a old rotary phone in the elevator, so I used that. But if it was plummeting or doing something funky, I couldn't call anyone to tell them my last wishes.

I got out fine, obviously. Late from my break, sent a message to my supervisor and then banged my head promptly on my desk.

Which this reminds me to adjust my will. Oh yes, I have a will. I believe everyone over the age of 18 should have one because we're not God and never know when we're going to kick the bucket. At least something saying "Mom I love you" or "Don't forget to feed the cat".

And.... to finish my bucket list.

Balls of steel

2010-06-04T23:29:00.000-07:00

I'd like to think I am. Solid steel, never waver, no tears, no pain.

If some people haven't read the "About me", I'm 22 years old. And this has thus far happened.

I was born ('cause that's traumatic enough), my parents got a divorce, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, my mother died of cancer, I move in with my dad, my mother's boyfriend commits suicide over IRS and gambling debt (HA! Irony sucks!), my grandfather passes away, I find out my father adopted me, my dad gets diagnosed with cancer, he passes away, I graduate from high school.... keeping up yet? I essentially had a nervous breakdown and ran away from home, got pregnant, married, survived marriage ~~from hell~~ (it really wasn't), had my son after almost dying on the table. My husband and I got into a bad-ass argument, left my husband, met my boyfriend, left my boyfriend and went back to my husband, lost my job, car, apartment, sanity. I start seeing my boyfriend again, husband leaves. (Don't blame him) Became homeless since the first time since 2005...

The good parts; got a job, moved in with boyfriend's family, had visitation with son, got a better job, shit hits the fan, I get my son and then got an apartment.

So here I am... alive. Sorta. My husband and I are on speaking terms, not killing each other and keeping it real for the kid. We're trying to figure things out without really talking to each other, it sucks. The court system believes that we can work things out with a restraining order that I told them not to put on. We can only talk about the kid.

I really sound ghetto right now and I want to apologize but life sucks.

Things aren't all cute as kittens and giggles and kisses around here. I work hard, like 50 hours a week hard. I love my job, I'm a moron for that too but it's a good job with good people working for a good company. What else can a gal ask for?

Why the hell am I writing all this and making everyone believe that I'm a ghetto redneck bitch from hell?

Because I've just been that way lately. Not towards people, but towards life. I haven't been able to write good things lately, just shit is starting to creep towards the fan and I don't want everyone alarmed.

When it hits, I'm going to be right here. Writing is my tool to sanity. I've got almost 3 dozen half written journals in the bedroom that I have yet to finish, a half written memoir of stuff that doesn't make any sense if you read it from front to back and a head full of words.

So... to clarify, I'm not steel. I feel like I am but I'm not. I hope ya'll can understand... yo.

Tweet, Twit, Twirp, Teet, Tit, BOOB!

2010-06-03T20:52:00.000-07:00

So I've joined.

No, I lie. I've been for a while. I just never really kept up with it. In the months that I had joined, I guess I had gotten a half a dozen followers whom I have absolutely no clue who they are.

Stalkers? Probley.. Not so sexy because it could possibly be a fake name/picture/person. Imagine a computer somewhere in bum-fuck egypt and some really ugly creepy dude following me.

So... as I sit here staring at this line where only a 140 characters can bare my heart and soul. Aaron goes up to me and says "oh... Katie... why?????"

Please tell me what I'm suppost to do with this thing. I "tweeked" it to look not so blah, but what am I suppost to say?

My ass itches?

Darrell is picking his nose?

Going to sleep?

Oh wait, I do that on Facebook.

Follow me if you want, just ignore the creepy homicidal dudes.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star... oh wait, this shit doesn't work.

2010-06-02T20:27:00.000-07:00

Why is it when you're a kid, you never want to sleep. Bed-time is the forbidden zone where you fight, scream, negotiate and wrangle your way out of it. But when you're an adult, sleep is a luxury. Especially after you had those said kids who will give their souls for an extra hour out of bed.

Of course, as an adult. We have additives in our lives that keep us awake. ie. Coffee, energy drinks, tea, cold showers, work, sex. So, ultimately, it's our own fault for not getting the correct amount of sleep that we need.

This philosophical point comes from...

My kid not wanting to go to bed.

A thousand and two kisses and hugs, asking if he can have 2 gallons of milk, juice, water, ~~beer.~~ Getting up, sitting down. Going to give the cat a kiss goodnight... oh wait, he forgot to give it a hug. Then back down. Then he forgot to give the fishie a hug and kiss... and oh wait, don't forget about Aaron. And then the juice, and then the questions.

Why is the walls white? Because they are Darrell, go to sleep. Why do we sleep? Because we need sleep to live Darrell. Why do we live? Because God gave us life Darrell, now go to sleep. Then the God questions.

Sometimes I wish I could duct tape him to a wall.

And then I remember that's illegal and unsafe.

Then I wonder why some people are allowed to breed.

See where my kid's questions come from?

Wordless Wednesday - Good parts in life

2010-06-02T15:26:00.000-07:00

Link

You often have to look for them to find them. But there are good parts in life.

Birthday Party

2010-05-31T22:16:00.000-07:00

A solution that will ultimately equal fun no matter what circumstances.

Cake

Pizza

Water Balloons

Camp Fire with Smores

Good Friends

And a little boy turning 4.

1460 Days Old

2010-05-29T23:06:00.000-07:00

Uncomfortable sticky mess, I was laying there looking at gummy bears wishing that I had a steak. Dad was sitting next to me watching a hockey game, hoping for a win. In more ways that one. Grandma had made some phone calls, been back for a little while. Your Aunt standing there restlessly making sure that they don’t make anymore mistakes. I felt pain, a kick. Everything got so loud and bright. The room before being a dim relaxing spot became busy. Your heartbeat drop to a dangerous point and all your dad could do was do what he does best. Save us. He screamed for the nurse, all I could see was faces, everywhere. A mask was put on me, I started blacking out. We were rushed into a room, with a lot of needles. I kept talking, I don’t remember what I was talking about. They laid me down, put a cover on me. Your dad kept telling me it was going to be okay. I tried to believe him but it was the scariest moment of my life.

You were born.

The love for one’s child grows each day. It’s not just a switch of a light where you look at this being and all the world makes sense. It’s the complete opposite. Nothing makes sense, no control. This love, never ending love just keeps growing. Pure nature. Thinking that when you were born, you were saved. But truthfully, you have saved me.

As much as you are who you are, I never want you to change. I never want you to know pain or hate or greed. Stay true to who you are, never let anyone down. Care for those who love you and don’t love you. Because the ones who don’t, need it the most. Take the time and remember those who have stood by you all these years, never forget those who we have lost. You have so much strength and courage, don’t ever stop.

Never stop.

Watching you sleep, hearing your heartbeat is the most peaceful moment in the world. Twitching slight, sprawled out however you want to.

You run by the beat of your own drum. Energy and happiness surges through your veins. Never a jealous, angry, hateful thought in your mind. You love everything and anyone unconditionally. Forgiving so much for so little years.

The smile radiates across your face. Oh, that smile. I imagine that one day, a lucky lady will fall in love with that smile just as much as I have. So big, so honest.

Words that have been said over and over again, and they never get old… I love you son.

Happy forth birthday.

Thank you!

2010-05-28T22:27:00.000-07:00

On Thursday I received a award by a LeeAnn at The Life of Rylie... and Bryce too!

She's such a sweet lady and her children are adorable. LeeAnn is one, and maybe only woman, I know that has convinced her husband that blogging isn't a cult. And we're not some angry women who hate men and bitch about the dishes. (oops, that's just me)

Who else can have their husband hug a cute little stuffed animal like it's Christmas?

Here is how this award works:
•To receive this award, promise to share this with 10 other BLOGS that you think are Trendy too.
•Post about your award in your blog.
•List your Top 10 Trendy Blogs.
•Share with them.
•Leave a link to the Trendy Blog Button.
•Tell them they need to give this award out to 10 as well.

I am passing this award on to these 10 blogs that I think are trendy:

Lemons to Lemonade

Punk Rock Mamma

Just Hide the Dishes in the Dryer

This Lovely Life

Twenty Little Toes

The litany of Brittiany

Mom's the Glue

Adventures in Mommywood

Nomies Eco Ware

Skinned Knees

Thirteen Thursday- Blogging Rocks

2010-05-27T20:54:00.000-07:00

Ok… it’s 11:43pm here and Thursday isn’t over.

I am so not cheating.

13 reasons why blogging is rocks my socks!

1. We get to speak our mind without look at people in the eye. It so helps.

2. It truly gets us away from the kids. Computer coma is great.

3. F-ing around with your blog page is more stressing than trying to design the white house dining room but it’s so worth it.

4. You can totally put some picture of yourself up on here to make you look hot and wild. But you’re actually a strung out mom drinking coffee out of the pot.

5. Reading blog posts where woman are pissed off at someone are better than watching a soap opera. It gets better at each comment.

6. Learning about different products and how much some of them suck. I wish I did this three years ago.

7. It’s like a 24/7 party and it never ends.

8. You don’t have to drag around a huge wad of pictures with you to show off your kids. Just click post!

9. Never in my life have I learned so much about html. And it rocks to the point where I’m thinking about doing this for a career.

10. You

11. Girls

12. Are

13 .AWESOME!

Wordless Wednesday - A Day at the Playground

2010-05-26T18:32:00.000-07:00

I'll be the first to say this...

2010-05-25T21:36:00.000-07:00

My header sucks.

I've been fooling around with this thing for the past two days.

Does anyone of anyone who can do headers for cheap?

Like so cheap it doesn't cost money?

I don't make any money off of this blog. Seriously.

I'll be your slave for a day... if you like a lazy one who complains and sits there all day drinking coffee.

I don't need the whole blog re-done. I'm working on that as we speak. Literly.

But I do need help with the header.

Sooo...

Help?

***UPDATE***

I found Scrapblog which I think is the best thing known to man... except toliet paper and the internet.

I redid the header. I don't have Lucy on there anymore but I do have a birdie.

His name is Frank.

Say hi to Frank, I think he's gonna stick around for a while.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2010-05-24T20:18:00.000-07:00

I’m not really sure if I should post this.

It’s pretty damned disgusting.

Ok… I’m going to link it back, so I don’t wreck havoc on everyone’s readers.

Here

It’s a chicken wing. I live in Buffalo, NY. It’s a daily thing here.

But if you notice on top of it…

Feathers.

Yes… feathers.

I called the pizza place, shaking on the phone. If you recognize the place by the box, this happened in the one in Hamburg not Orchard Park. I've been going to the one in O.P. since I was seven.

Never in my LIFE have I come across this.

If I had bitched harder then it would have been bad. But I didn’t. I know how it is in food service, sometimes things go unnoticed. It was 90 degrees in Western NY today, we’re not use to the heat.

But FEATHERS?!

Ew.

One Awesome Dude

2010-05-22T23:14:00.000-07:00

Being drafted, Being touched by the Goddess, big red monster is in town, Bitchy witchy week, Blowing a fuse, Chocolate time, [The] circus is closed, the monkey has a nosebleed, Code red Cork Cousin Tom Curse, the a woman Cycle[The] dam has burst Devil days Dot, the Drainage Driving in a red car End of sentence Estrogen poisoning Feminine biology Floodgates open up Getting my monthly subscription in the mail Go with the flow Gruesome week Having mechanical difficulties Her lady business High tide Issue I'm closed for maintenance Little Red Riding Hood is making her way through the woods Magic of the month Midol season Monthly visitor No-go zone On the dot Raggin' Rosie Red That time

Whatever you want to call it. It sucks. Balls.

The type of sucks that you just want to curl up into a ball for a week, eat 20 gallons of ice cream and have the bathroom right next to you at all times.

When I got my “insert phrase here” at 11, my grandmother gave me a rag and told me where to put it.

I was horrified.

My dad on the other hand, I think he had a nervous breakdown. A 11 year old should not be getting her “insert phrase here” at that age. He wasn’t ready for this, I think he thought that I would never get it. Maybe blissfully going into adulthood never having to worry about the “talk” or “insert phrase here”.

Being the great and wonderful dad he was… he went and got pads for me.

And from that day on, I forever think that “real men” take care of their women in that sort of way. When there down at the barest, vulnerable to the world.

The other day… I get my “insert phrase here”. About a week early. Aaron was doing the “I’m not a dad yet” dance and twirling around the room while I was trying to fend off my 3 year old from seeing this shit.

The last thing I need to hear is “MOMMMYY YOUR BLEEDIN’!!!??? I’LL GET YOU A BAND-AID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

So after throwing various things… and a hair dryer out the door. Aaron got the drift. I was in need…

So he came back with this…

My eyes bulged out of my head.

WHAT am I going to do with all of these??!! Did he expect me to use them ALL!?

Then I realized it was just a box with the normal baggage inside… with Always Infinity samples.

So Aaron gets this.

Because he’s a Awesome dude.

I'm a complete moron

2010-05-20T19:57:00.000-07:00

So I'm totally the type of person to be the last one to notice that there's a party going on.

It could be right across the street, a dozen invitations stuck underneath my door, and I'm obliviously eating chips and dip watching a Ghost Hunters marathon.

And I never have anything cute to wear.

But I'm joining this one.

Here's some of my ~~best~~ worst material. Check it out if you dare.

I didn't know 1800collect still existed

Things every renter should know

Ode to the Death of a Sex Life

Let our kids go!

2010-05-20T16:54:00.000-07:00

Today I fell upon this little doozy. Brings me to the ultimate question, where did the human trait of common sense go? We live about 20 minutes from a little town called Angola, New York. Look it up on a map, it's pretty damn small.

This is the place where I met my son's father, and I know pretty much everyone in the community and he does. Every day in the summertime the neighborhood kids walk the 2 or 3 blocks to the playground at the elementary school. By themselves. Stupid? I don't think so.

When I first had the question asked by Darrell last summer if he could go to the playground with a group of kids around. I was nervous and asked a lot of questions. So did the other parents, my friends, but we let them go.

They came home fine. Dirty and filled with stories.

Going there a few times, I saw the beauty of it in action. The bigger kids, around 10 or 11, make sure that the little kids, 3-5, don't get hurt. No babysitting but a watchful eye. They hang out on the most top of the playground, calling it their "fort". Similar to no boys allowed but the cute boys could hang around. The kids pushed the other on a swing, if they couldn't do it themselves. They took turns and all way right with the world.

So what happened to the 50's suburbia where the kids went out to play and the adults sat on their porches and socialized? No, not with cell phones or twitter, actually talking.

Unfortunately, we now live in an area where there's a lot of traffic and the playground is a few miles away. I often take my son to the playground in this town, but I still see kids who just show up and then leave before the lights come on.

I know there is a huge risk of sex offenders in every area, I know. But isn't it common sense for a young kid not to trust a strange adult? The first thing we teach kids in elementary school, don't talk to strangers.

And then there's the over dramatization of strangers. My boyfriend was sitting in our car while we were at the local playground one day talking on the phone to his dad about his rounds of chemo. A personal conversation that he chose not to have in public. Darrell and I were playing on the slide and I noticed a bunch of adults talking in a bunch, pointing to our car. We got down, trying to figure out what was going on. Then one of the parents went over to the car, rapidly knocking on the window. I found out later that he was interrogated, why he was there, why he was sitting in the car by himself. They honestly thought that he was a preditor.

It took a while for us to go back there.

So my question is... at what age do we start trusting our own kids? When do we start trusting ourselves to let our children grow to the point where they can ride their bike outside, alone?

It's a hefty question, but I hope that people start waking up and seeing that the world is bad, yes. But we have sheltered our kids to the point where all they want to is sit inside. Not socialize face-to-face and the computer is their only friend.

Thirteen things you wish you didn't know about me

2010-05-19T22:16:00.000-07:00

The increasing amount of viewers, followers and readers to this site (THANK YOU!!!!) wants my brain to tell you 13 things you wish you didn't know about me.

I have absolute no control over this thing.

1.)I have 2 Tattoos and counting. My best friend’s husband is a tattoo artist and I’ve been addicted for the past few years on these things. My first one was a Celtic knot on the back of my neck and the second is a sunshine similar to the band Godsmack’s symbol.

2.)My son is named after his great-uncle, Darrell, who passed away in 2005. Then his middle name is after my father, Alan, who also passed away in 2005. I really wanted to name him Lucius after Lucius Malfoy from Harry Potter but his dad wouldn’t let me.

3.) I have a problem with people chewing loudly. It completely interrupts my ability to think when people are chewing like cows. Like, if it’s bad enough, I’ll leave the room. So… I would of never of survived the renaissance age.

4.) Unless you’ve visited my Face book page, there are no real pictures of me on this blog. Why? I think I’m hideous, but mainly because I’m usually behind the camera.

5.) I consider myself a gigantic dork. I own every Harry Potter book and movie, except for the last (Obviously). Yes, I was one of “those” people standing in line at midnight with a witch hat on. I’m also a Twilight junkie. If I ever see Robert Patterson in real life, I’m going to smack him for making Bella a vampire.

6.) My pregnancy with my son wasn’t a good one. I’m going to flat out admit it. Morning sickness up the ass and never being able to lay down without peeing myself.

7.) You know the stupid friend who sits alone in the middle of the dark watching a million Horror movies by herself, and then calling you because her cat meowed and she thinks it‘s the boogie man??? Yes, that’s me. Zombie movies are the best, but old fashion slashers are awesome.

8.)I drink coffee everyday. At least one cup. Then I substitute that with energy drinks. Mmmm… Monster. I sometimes sleep.

9.) Becoming a mama never made me leave my music of choice. Darrell often rocks out in the back seat to Disturbed and Slipknot. And we have a on going argument who the band is for the Iron Man song. HE thinks it’s Metallica, but I KNOW it’s Ozzy!!!

10.) My best friend is a carnie aka Carnival Worker. She travels, puts up and tears down carnival rides. Also, she’s a bad-ass mama. I love her and her family to death.

11.) My family is small, but loving. We’ve lost a lot of family members along the way but it’s all made me realize blood is strong, but love is stronger.

12.) I like cats. A lot. If it wasn’t for Aaron, I’d be the freaky cat lady living with each one named and a birthday. Rayne does have a birthday but if I had my way, it’d come with catnip cake and birthday hats.

13.) Ok, so by now I've probably scared everyone off.. I’m a tattoo, dorky mom who listens to metal music. I don’t wear all black!!!! And Emo kids piss me off. I want to hug them just to make ‘em squirm.

Wordless Wednesday - They get their licence young now.

2010-05-19T08:31:00.000-07:00

This picture is from '08. 1. He's bigger now. 2. I need to start taking more pictures.

Lord of the Fish

2010-05-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

Never would I have thought that shopping for a fish and getting it home would be like getting the ring back to Mordor.

Chrissy and I landed at Pet-co after leaving the boys behind with our friend Scott.

Mikey's nickname is Ketchup-boy for a reason.

After wandering the place for it seemed like an hour but it was only 15 minutes. I finally decided on which tank to get, which gravel and what I needed for this.

We (I brought her along for a reason people!) decided on the Tetra Water Wonders tank. It’s easy to put together and easy to maintain. A 1.5 gallon to be exact.

The one major thing I got pissed off on regarding this entire process was how much LACK of help there was from the employees. I had to track down someone to get me a fish, I specifically asked some basic questions. And I got LAUGHED at.

How many fish can go in this fish tank?

*evil laughter*

It looks like on the box there can be 6 or 7 little ones.

The picture is bullshit.

Well what about a goldfish?

How many we’re you thinking?

So the chosen one was the twin-tailed gold fish. Simple, big, something that can be easily replaced without the knowing of a little one.

I asked the guy how long can they last in the baggie? He said about 45 minutes.

Chrissy decided to be her carnie self, which I adore and love about her. HAD to mention the little fishie stand at the carnival. Those poor things! Half of them are dead by the end of the day because of being in the bags for so long.

So I reconsidered but decided to keep going.

We ended up going to Walmart for a good 20 minutes.

(WTF is with customer service nowadays? It took me another 10 minutes to ask someone where the necklace chain extenders were. Ending up finding out that they were all out and had to buy a cheapo necklace for the extender. Didn’t realize it was a Twilight-Werewolf charm necklace until I got to the checkout. SCORE!)

Fish is still alive after trip to Walmart.

Ended up staying until 10pm at Chrissys after getting dinner and calming down the boys.

The best part is Darrell’s face when he saw it. I haven’t seen him that happy in a LONG time.

Getting this kid to smile without a funny face is like pulling teeth.

We transplanted it into a mini fish bowl for the short time we were there. Meanwhile, Darrell didn’t move at least 5 feet from “Diego”. He SWEARS it’s a he-she. Seeing him kissing the bowl and telling the fish how much he loved him made it to one of those levels. Making sure the fish was still okay, checking on it every 5 minutes.

Then the 45 min ride home from Lockport and the mini-hotel stay in the bathroom so Rayne doesn’t EAT the thing

“Diego” is alive and well.

Tuesday Tag Along

2010-05-17T22:46:00.000-07:00

Here's another addition to Tuesday Tag-Along. I can't wait to meet all the new entries!

Here's how it works:

Create a new Tuesday Tag-Along blog post. Include the Tuesday Tag-Along button by copying and pasting the code above. (You are also welcome to copy and paste these instructions in their entirety, or any portion of this Tuesday Tag-Along blog post!)
Add your blog name and the URL of your TTA post to the MckLinky below.
Follow Twee Poppets, the hostess blog listed in the first slot. Twee Poppets will follow you back! (Note: If you want Twee Poppets to follow you back, you MUST leave her a comment saying that you are a new follower and leave a link to your blog!)
If you can, please follow the blogs in the three slots before you (e.g., if you're number 20, follow numbers 19, 18, and 17). This is not mandatory, but it will help ensure that everyone who signs up gets a few new followers!
Follow as many other blogs as you want. The more you follow, the more that will follow you back! Be sure to tell them that you're following from Tuesday Tag-Along! You may also want to leave a link to your blog so they can return your follow more easily.
When you get a new follower through Tuesday Tag-Along, be sure to follow them back! It's just common courtesy. :)

The weekly Tuesday Tag-Along MckLinky opens every Monday night at 8:59pm Pacific Standard Time (that's 11:59pm Eastern Standard Time), and the TTA blog post will be posted well in advance of that time. The MckLinky will be open to add your blog until 11:59pm Tuesday night. You then have all week long to visit blogs and return follows!

There is a new list every week. The link you enter one week will not carry over to the next week's MckLinky. Please link up again each week to join in the fun!

Will it flush the fish??????

2010-05-16T21:13:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow my BFF and I are going to get monster a early birthday present.

Not to early, his b-day is the 30th.

Having 3 birthday parties already planned, why not spoil the kid more.

We're getting fish. Not alot of fish but some. A small 1.5 gallon fish tank. Modest and able to replace the fishies.

If they decided to go here

Link

The mechanics are explained easily on this tank. But what happens if I accidently flush the fish?????

A early ending for goldie.

Or me scooping my hands in the bowl desperately to get the poor things out.

Hopefully everything was already taken care of and in the sewage system before hand.

Ewwwww.

I didn't know that 1-800-Collect still existed

2010-05-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

Apparently after all of the social groups (Facebook, Myspace, the INTERNET) I've joined over the past 6 11 years I have to pay to have someone talk to me.

It's like Harmony.com, but worse. You have to pay to see one of the little turds who made fun of you for being overweight in High School to say sorry. Because now they have gained 21354688564163 pounds and know how hard it is to get that weight off.

Nevermind the fact that I like Ho-Hos. And cookies.

My diet regime is going sooooo well. I'm personally taking care of the vending machine's weekly profit. Such a responsible employee I am.

The dating sites and I have a problem with each other. Back when I needed help meeting people either because I couldn't look a man in the eye, or he was just staring at my chest... I tried it once. It was ridiclous. What happened to the good 'ol fashion going to the bar, getting drunk, having a one night stand and then realizing that this person is your soul mate.

Because they pulled your hair back for you.

I'm not kidding either! That's how my parents met. At the Red Rooster in Penn Yan, NY. Except my mother didn't get hammered off of jello shots and my dad didn't pull back her hair.

They were still soul mates.

So paying for people to talk to you... it's stupid. It's corporate America, and it's stupid.

But I'm still itching to see who left me a message.

Skinny bitches.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

2010-05-15T00:38:00.000-07:00

Laina from Reflections of a Navy Wife presented me with this award on Thursday and I want to apologize for it being so late to give a big thank you! Laina's blog truly shows the strength, integrity and courage that military spouses and families have. I admire all of her attributes and she's a great woman. Thank you again Laina!!!

Award Rules:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award.

2. Share 10 things about yourself

3. Pass the award along to 10 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are worthy of the award.

4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.

Instead of placing 10 things about myself and passing the award. I'm going to list 10 things about each blogger I admire about them.

1. Mama M @ My Little Life
I absolutely love her weekly Memes and enjoy surfing the blogs that have joined her site. She is an extremely motivating woman.

2. Kasey @ A Little Cup of Comfort
Every day I love learning more about Kasey. Recently she's begun the 1lb at a time regime that sounds great. Pacing yourself through weight loss is the most effective route.

3. Happy Grandma @ The Happiest Family on the Block
She's got alot of kids... and grandkids... and alot on her plate. But she keeps it running and they are the happiest family on the block. It's great to hear about a happy grandmother!

4. A Mom Writing
I honestly wish I knew this woman when I was breastfeeding my son. Her articles and blog give so much to thought and alot of support. I applaud her for being so forthcoming in all of her efforts and the health of her baby.

5. Deana @ Mom's the Glue
Deana is definitely the glue in her family and she shows it in her blog. Awesome site for great giveaways and different ideas for movies, reviews and childrens books!

6. Mommypants
Another eco lover! She's got a lot on cooking and crafting. Awesome choices on different kinds of products to save the earth.

7. Allison @ The Allison Wonderland
Somewhat newliweds, she is an absolute doll. I've been reading her blog for a while now, before I started writing. And it's amazing to watch her grow. Also a huge twilight fan!! Sorry Allison... I run with wolves.

8. Amy @ Strawberry Fields
She makes me want to dance. Amy creates beautiful tutus for your daughter that are picture props and every day fairytale items. What girl doesn't want to become a lil fairy at one point?

9. Buckeroomama @ Mamahood Among other things
Her photography takes my breath away. Living in Hong Kong, her and her family are experiencing a whole different world than what we see. I definitely ask for you to take a walk through her blog and just look at her kids!! Stunning.

10. Metalia

Metalia is... an idol. She, like Barefoot Foodie, doesn't just write about everyday life of changing diapers and doing the dishes. Everything is a story and an experience. Her humor in life makes me feel like life shouldn't be all serious. Look at the funny things and don't worry if they sound strange... or weird. It's your thoughts, your words... that's what blogging is all about, right?

A week in The Life

2010-05-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

The one thing I regret most about my childhood is not knowing my mother. Of course, she was my mom. She was there. But I never knew her as a person, what she did day to day. Snippets and pieces of my seven years of existence with her are here and there. More memories flow in as long as I talk to her friends and my family, but it’s hard to remember that.

Looking at a blog named Pink of Perfection that I’ve been reading for the better part of two years. Yes, that’s how long I’ve been watching. I fell upon A Week in The Life.

You take pictures of yourself, daily. Whatever your doing. Either it be what your wearing, what your doing, who you’re with or your daily routine.

There’s a whole lot more suggestions over at the site , and I really suggest that everyone at least checks it out.

I can speak for myself that I’m not going to take pictures daily. It’s to redundant and keeping the camera out of my son’s hands is like convincing a tiger not to eat me. And I really don’t have the patience to sit there and sort through pictures daily.

But to document my daily life weekly? In pictures? Sounds like a great idea.

So instead of me bugging all of my readers and new readers with hundreds of pictures of my son’s feet. Because he likes taking pictures of his feet. A lot. I’m going to go ahead and do it weekly. Nothing big, but it’s gonna be huge for me.

It could be huge for you also. Imagine showing your grandchildren this?

I remember when gas prices were $3.00

But grandma, gas has been turned into electric for ten years now.

Exactly

You can show them the proof. The proof that you actually did walk up hill… both ways… through the snow.. Past mountain lions and evil trolls… just to get to school. Because they have to go to school too.

Thirteen Thursday - Motherhood

2010-05-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Principles of Motherhood

Motherhood ~~ If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
Avenge yourself ~~ Live long enough to be a problem to your children.
The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads.
The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.
Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart.
There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.
You know the only people in this world who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.
Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and his mother's age.
An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.
Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.
To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.

Thirteen Thursday this week is borrowed from Humor Matters

I'm a cheapo and I'm damned proud of it!!!

2010-05-12T16:34:00.001-07:00

The economy sucks, no one has jobs and the cost of basic daily necessities have risen in the past ten years.

I just went shopping at Target… and this confirms my belief.

FIFTEEN DOLLARS for a freakin’ little dress for a kid!! A BABY! The little tykes that grow all the time and out of their clothes in a matter of weeks. This is just Target too… imagine what the prices are at retail outlets… twenty… thirty…

I’m known for cheap but I’ve not always been this money savvy. My favorite clothes store was Lane Bryant (high-end plus size store), I loved Starbucks coffee and had it whenever I went someplace with my high school boyfriend. I had even once spent 90 dollars on a purse.

Que after baby…

I’m wearing the same clothes that I’ve accumulated for the past three years. The newest addition is a shirt from Target on clearance, for three bucks.

My shoes I’ve been wearing for 2 years. Same ballet style black shoes, classic and worn.

I buy makeup once a year, if even, and I love the cheapos from the dollar store. Who will know if your eyeliner only cost 50 cents on clearance?

My purse… now this is the kicker. Anyone who knows me from my marriage days knows that I love purses. I bought them on a wim because they look adorable. Where are they now? In a storage bin in storage, I haven’t looked at them since November. The one that I carry now is a small purple (yes, purple) 15 dollar clearance item from Walmart.

Why am I belting out the fact that I’m cheap? Sometimes crazy cheap? To the point where I look at each and every price at the grocery/retail store cheap.

Because I’m trying to make a point that people can live on less. Less money, less stuff, less everything. As soon as something gets a little worn out, people throw it out. Why not get the needle & thread and fix the torn? Dig in your closet for stuff that you haven’t worn in years and try it on again.

Even with food, our family lives on 70 dollars a week on groceries. This is a static dollar amount that never changes week to week. We cut down on snacks and microwaveable items. (We don’t even own a microwave). This saves our bellies and our wallets huge amounts of money each month. Fresh food isn’t always cheap, but it goes a long way. One head of lettuce can be two meals with three boneless chicken breasts and whatever you can find in the pantry.

With utilities, we have shut off the heat. Unless it’s below 50 degrees outside, we live in an upstairs apartment. The heat from our lower neighbors travels to ours. And if it gets a little nippy, blankets are our friends.

We own only 1 cell phone and that’s our main form of communication, other than the computer. This is nice because we’re not in constant communication with people. I miss the days where when you call someone, and they’re out, they’re out. Leave a voice mail and they’ll call you back when they can.

Lights are off in the daytime. When it’s hits dusk, one in the kitchen with a energy efficient bulb and then whichever room we’re in at the time.

I would love to know how everyone saves. When it comes to utilities, clothes, basic necessities, etc. Let everyone know that you’re cheap and proud of it!!!

Blast from the Past

2010-05-12T11:29:00.000-07:00

Tuesday Tag Along

2010-05-11T20:26:00.000-07:00

I found this from Dawn @ The way I see things

Here's how it works:

Create a new Tuesday Tag-Along blog post. Include the Tuesday Tag-Along button by copying and pasting the code above. (You are also welcome to copy and paste these instructions in their entirety, or any portion of this Tuesday Tag-Along blog post!)
Add your blog name and the URL of your TTA post to the MckLinky below.
Follow Twee Poppets, the hostess blog listed in the first slot. Twee Poppets will follow you back! (Note: If you want Twee Poppets to follow you back, you MUST leave her a comment saying that you are a new follower and leave a link to your blog!)
If you can, please follow the blogs in the three slots before you (e.g., if you're number 20, follow numbers 19, 18, and 17). This is not mandatory, but it will help ensure that everyone who signs up gets a few new followers!
Follow as many other blogs as you want. The more you follow, the more that will follow you back! Be sure to tell them that you're following from Tuesday Tag-Along! You may also want to leave a link to your blog so they can return your follow more easily.
When you get a new follower through Tuesday Tag-Along, be sure to follow them back! It's just common courtesy. :)

I'm really looking forward to meeting new bloggers.

From the moment I left work at 9 to getting on here at 11:30pm I've already had three people comment.

You guys are too quick for me!

Just a Reminder:

I'm working on my blog roll tomorrow afternoon. It's not a deadline but if you're not following me, or haven't commented in the past, show the comment love!! It's great to meet new people and new stories!

You're never going to believe this

2010-05-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

*Sigh*

So I'm coming out... blatantly stating what is truly truth and all knowing.

My Taco Dip rules.

Honestly, it's gotten so popular at my job I've put a boycott on it until people calm down.

I'm only one woman. 20 requests the first few times.

Aaron and Darrell were really full that week.

And because I love all of you so much, and I really do. I'm sharing it with you today.

Ingredients:

24 oz Sour Cream

2 pkgs of Cream Cheese

24 oz of Salsa

Three Old El Paso Taco Seasoning packets

2 cups of seasoned cheese (take normal cheddar and pepper jack shredded, mix some seasoning in there)

Half a head of lettuce

2 lbs of lean ground beef

Cook the Beef as directed. Season as instructed on the packets. Very simple.
Cool your beef, I usually put mine in the freezer for a little bit to speed up the process.
Meanwhile, take a bowl and a mixer (do NOT hand mix this, you'll be feeling like you've been bench pressing all day). Put the 2 packages of cream cheese and all of the sour cream and mix. Put in 1 packet of seasoning. Mix until it comes out creamy. If there's chunks, it's fine. That's that extra "bite".
Lay down the Salsa in a pan, and put in the cool beef. Lay in the sour cream mixture, add the cheese and then lettuce.

Do it in this order, or you're lettuce will be soggy, the salsa will have a weird texture and it won't come out good. Trust me, many different varieties before I could get it to this point.

Top with whatever you feel like. I've done jalapeno peppers and black olives. Particularly, the black olives.

Mmmmm...

Try it out. Tell me how you like it. If you've done this before, kudos to you. I didn't steal your recipe. It was a jedi mind trick.

Prep to the preppay.

2010-05-10T23:55:00.000-07:00

I was given this award by Ashley. An amazing writer and mommy. Thank you again!

The rules:

* Click on the above image and paste onto your blog/website
* Answer the below questions
* Pass onto 10 (or 5. Like Ashley) bloggers that you love, go to their blog and let them know they've been given the award.

1. Who is your style icon? Despite my love for heavy metal music. I'm a very conservative dresser. Pair of jeans and a comfy T-Shirt is all I need to get through the day. Though, I do love Julianne Moore's style. Classic and Sexy.

2. What is your favorite socialite book? Does Twilight count?
3. Favorite party theme? A party where you can enjoy time with friends, not have to worry about what others think of you, and not paranoid that you're pictures are going to end up on Facebook the next morning.
4. Go to Halloween costume? For like, 3 years ??? I went as a witch for Halloween. I finally gave up the hat when I left home four years ago.

5. Extravagance you cannot live without? Obviously... coffee.

6. Living person you admire? My grandmother. She's 93 years old and still able to put both myself and my son in line. Still drives, cooks her own meals, gets herself dressed. She lives with my cousin but still in her home of 50+ years.
7. Greatest fear? To die young. Both of my parents had an untimely departure from this world. I never want that to happen to my son.

8. Trait you deplore in yourself? I worry... a lot. About stupid things too, like Christmas in May, and zombie attacks. It's strange, I've got a weird mind.
9. Which talent would you most like to have? Something that will never happen unless I have some weird surgery. A great singing voice.
10. Greatest Achievement? My three year old monster.

Whom I'm giving the award to:

Is there a bathroom on this ship?

Getting back to normal

2010-05-10T10:18:00.000-07:00

With Aaron's Graduation on Saturday and then Mother's Day on Sunday things have been pretty hectic around here.

Reading other blogs, it seems to be the "norm" this weekend.

We're use to being in the house when were not working, but lately it's just been go-go-go.

Today we're cleaning up the floor from painting, fixing any half-assed mistakes of mine from the painting, painting the shelf case thingie and the mirror. Taking care of the laundry that has accumilated over the past few days.

I've gotta give it to Aaron though, he is quite a man.

Did the dishes, made lunch and is mainly doing the laundry. The staircase to the basement has caused me to fall one to many times. Yes, I'm a clumsy ass.

No, sorry girls, he's not for sale. Even though I have a handy sale sign in the closet.

Just in case.

Enie Menie Minie Mo... Who's the best bloggers of them all.

2010-05-09T23:11:00.000-07:00

Saturday I received this award by a lovely lady. My ~~lazy~~ busy ass decided not to post the love until Monday and I really do apologize for this.

Nomie is a sweet eco friendly gal who has a killer talent for making beautiful baby clothes. So beautiful it makes me want to pop out a baby girl just so that I can play dress up.

One trick though. If you receive the award, you must award 12 other bloggers. This took me a while. Hense, having this post so late.

I am in no way playing favorites, but these gals I look forward to each and everyone of their posts.

Ashley @ Adventures in Mommyhood
Ms. Farrell @ My perspective
Hannah @ My Eco Family
Kasia @ Pookie
Joshlin @ Saving Mom's Sanity
Allie @ A Table for 3 4
Nomie @ Nomie Eco Ware (Can I re gift???)
Rhaven @ Suburban Rebel Mom
Ericka @ Alabaster Cow
Michelle @ Papoe
Britney @ Barefoot Foodie
Lindsey @ Suburban Turmoil

Happy Mother's Day to Supermoms Everywhere!!!

2010-05-09T14:00:00.001-07:00

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

For 11 years of my life Mother's day was a day of grievance . Getting up for church, trying my best to make it the best Mother's Day for my Grandmother, eventually curling up into a ball and crying into my bedsheets. For everything that I've gone through, the one thing I can truely say...

I miss my mommy.

June 23rd 1995 the woman who gave me life, who put herself into every predicament where I'd get the best of everything, passed away while I was at school. I distinctly remember riding on the school bus to my baby sitters and looking out the window. The school year was over, I could spend more time with my mother and she would go to Rochester to receive chemo treatment and by my birthday she would be better. Please keep in mind, I was only seven years old.

Closing my eyes, the heat of the sun was warming to me. It felt great. Looking out the window again, pulling up to my baby sitters... my brother, Brad, was there. Along with my mother's boyfriend. The traditional mind of a seven year old, was always about me. I thought he had come up north for a few weeks like he normally does, and they were congradulating me on passing the 2nd grade.

Instead they were there to tell me the news. I was angry, why didn't they tell me sooner? Why didn't they get me out of school? Then I thought it was a trick, something planned... my mother isn't dead. She just isn't.

My mind went thinking like this until August... that she would come home, all better.

But she didn't.

The thing that wants me to scream to the heavens is that I didn't know her. I never will. Even today, I can't remember much of when I lived with her. Bits and pieces and lost memories brought on by old friends or relatives.

This Mother's Day, don't just remember the ones that you have brunch with and give a little trinket to. Remember the mother's that are gone from this world, with God. Pray for the daughters and sons that visit cemeteries and look at old pictures every year, and cry into bedsheets.

Pray for the Grandparents and Fathers that have lost a loved one. Thank them on not only being one parent, but two. And thank them for filling in that void that will forever be there.

I thank my Grandmother, 93 years old she's still there. Still lecturing me, making sure that I eat and still alive. She still makes sure my head is on straight, and thinking the right way. For my son. She still cries with me and still laughs with me. For raising me, childhood through puberty and my adolescence I can not honestly give her enough credit in life.

I thank my Aunt, for teaching me the things that every woman should know. Pantyhose, deodorant, and how to be a woman. She's the real Martha Stewart in my life, I strive even today to be the woman that she is. Confident and intelligent in everything that she does.

I thank my Best Friend, she brought me into motherhood. The threshold of something that I could never think that I was ready for. Told me the right ways to do everything and what not to do. To take advantage of all of what this little life has given us. To show me that everything has a way and a will.

Who will you thank?

Mother's Day Mania- What have you done to make your grandmother blush, or makes you the happiest?

2010-05-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

Reading my reader like I do every day, religiously now that I've joined this lovely world, I fell onto this meme that's been floating around.

Really wish that I had started this when it first started, the themes are so honest and true.

But I will stop gawking at this wonderful lady's blog and finish at least one question.

What do you enjoy most about being a mother...or...have you had an embarrassing mom moment?

First becoming a mother, I was terrified and ridiciously nervous. Nervous about being left alone with the baby, just in case something happened and I had no clue on what to do. Terrified because for this tiny little being, I am the center of their world. And whatever I do, I have to do it for them.

The fear didn't subside until he was about two. Until we were on our own, and I got back to basics with my little boy. I learned more about him in that time, and am still learning so much now.

He's a little ball of emotions, the simplest thing can just make him go into tears. He hates being teased, he hates having his feelings hurt.

When Darrell wants something, it needs to be a yes or a no answer. No maybes in his life. Nothing uncertain, it needs to be the truth. Or it will bite you in your ass.

He laughs at everything and anything. Silliness is his adopted middle name. Tickling is a past-time, not a treat in our household

The kid will ultimately zone out if watching his favorite TV show. A nuke can go off in my living room and his eyes will still be glued to the screen. You say his name, 654684351654654 times and not get a blink. Poke him. "Huh? What Mom?"

At the end of the day... what I enjoy most about being a mother... is having a little mini-me.

This monster of mine, his personality matches mine to a T. I know his quirks, his ups and downs, why he's feeling that certain way and what the tantrums are about.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes he blows me out of the water.

But he'll always be my little mini-me.

This is an old picture, but it shows how much he has a personality.

Who can fall asleep like this watching David Letterman???

The waters are settled, so let's bring on the rain.

2010-05-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

The past week the devastation in Nashville has shocked the east coast. Thousands of families are without homes, businesses have been destroyed, people lives have been lost.

Now it's time for the world to put on it's rain boots and start helping.

NASHVILLE RED CROSS

HANDS ON NASHVILLE

Suburban Turmoil is one of our own. Her family, friends and neighbors need our help. She's donating gift cards to the flood victims. So start searching your closets, wallets, old purses, anything you have laying around. Go to Walmart for christ-sake and get a gift card for 20 bucks. That's a pair of jeans and some toothpaste that some one doesn't have right now. Basic necessities that people are missing due to this tragedy.

Table for 3 has listed a few more websites and also has ton more pictures.

So get off of my blog, yes I am encouraging this, and help!

Thirteen Thursday

2010-05-06T15:35:00.000-07:00

The epilogue of my paint extravaganza had leaded me to a few pointers for anyone who wishes to paint... anything. Be it a wall, a piece of furniture, or a canvas.

1. Invest in a drop cloth. Nothing beats having to take a spackling knife to your hardwood floor to get those paint drops off.

2. When painting with children, don't expect to get much done fast. And also don't let your eyes waver, even once. Don't blink. DON'T! My floor has a half of a smiley face.

3. Don't rush. You head straight into this project with the thought that it'll only take you a few hours if you don't stop. Midway though your sweating like Ron Jeremy in his newest porn film. (Don't ask me how I know this. Youtube is now forbidden in my house)

4. If it gets dark... wait. At about 8pm last night, there was paint in on every surface of my body that wasn't covered by clothing. Including my hair. My legs hurt like I had run a marathon and my arms felt like I was carrying my son all day. I just wanted to get it DONE. But waking up dismorning and seeing the mess that is my paint job, I need to go over it... again.

5. Sniff the paint fumes, you know you wanna. The worst and best advise I can give you. Giggle a little, laugh alot, this is suppost to be fun, right?

6. Always buy extra paint. To do those touchups, or a wall or two, after you've tried painting in the dark.

7. Buy 2 or three energy drinks. Or drink a whole pot of coffee.

8. Never underestimate what little could do. Don't put to much paint on the brush or the roller. It spatters, it makes a mess and it looks like crap afterwards.

9. Don't stop, EVER! Don't rush but don't stop. If you've started, don't sit down for 20 minutes and think you're going to get back up again. It doesn't happen.

10. It comes off with soap and water. I was covered head to toe in paint yesterday. Droplets that fell from the brush, I wiped off with my finger. It's nasty, it's dirty, but it gets the job done.

11. Wear Crappy clothes. Don't ever expect to wear these clothes again in public, unless your being a painter or Leonardo DiVinci for halloween.

12. Make sure the clothes cover certain parts of yourself. I made the mistake of wearing a tank top and shorts yesterday. It was great for me especially when I was bending down to get the last finish below the window, I would of been hindered of bending like that in jeans. But also apparently it was great for my neighbor's husband.

13. Pick colors you'll be able to stand in 3 years. Because believe me, you'll never want to go through this again.

And stupid me, I'm going to be doing my son's bedroom in a couple of weeks. I was going to do it next week but after yesterday, I need a vacation.

Wordless Wednesday - Not my kids.

2010-05-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

Painting is done.

These are not my kids.

But this is what it would have looked like if I wasn't paying attention.

Now I'm just high off of paint fumes.

Hense, the wordless Wednesday with words.

I'll give a tree a hug just for this wonderful gal.

2010-05-04T22:57:00.000-07:00

An amazing thing happened today.

I was featured.

It's weird, huh? People actually read this thing.

For an Earth-loving good time, check out this lovely lady.

She's amazing.

Seriously, stop reading this and go look at her blog.

THANK YOU!

Ode to the death of a Sex Life

2010-05-03T23:14:00.000-07:00

Almost everyday there’s an on-going battle in our house. He comes to me first, and then I to him, back and forth. We keep mentioning the fact that so-and-so needs to get done first or my son is still awake.

It's even worse if we say anything at work. Have I ever mentioned we work together? Like in the same building, on the same floor. It's torture some days but great others. Especially when you need to bitch about someone and you know he's not going to say anything because our livelihood is on our jobs.

ANYWHOO But it always ends the same, I fall asleep with Darrell in bed relentlessly trying to get him asleep.

Why does our sex life die with children? The hiding in the bathroom or the subtle glances at the dinner table, it always ends the same. The day long adventure of a good tease. Seriously, I think that I could be great at those sex-talk hotlines but never go through with anything. My excuse would be “Sorry, I‘ve got to be up by 9am to watch Team Umnizoomi”. Complete turn off huh?

Kinda strange to try to explain those long distance calls too.

And the fact that I look forward to a children's show in the morning.

Scratch that. Completely.

I’ve been told by many of men that I’m a MILF, I look at them straight in the face and ask are you kidding because you’re making me ROLF. My son killed my body, or whatever was left of one. Never skinny, never toned, never perfect. Carrying 9 lbs of pure baby and adding in the whopper a day I didn’t have a graceful pregnancy.

So, I’m pretty sure now that he’s just keeping me on my toes, not wanting to see the elephant that emerges in bed.

Because, c’mon, who else will do the dishes?

Best Moms!

2010-05-03T17:06:00.000-07:00

With all types of celebrity and real life mothers alike being bashed out by the media, I think to myself. Where are all the good ones? The cookie making, boo-boo kissing mamas that we always thought we were. Instead there are mamas out there, new ones mind you, that take their kid into the front seat of a car and drive, have eight siblings on purpose and eat off the welfare system (literally), and exploiting their kids at every turn.

Here are some great mothers that bring some sort of sanity in the publicity, and some who are just well… really cool.

Michele Obama

Not only the coolest first lady since Jacqueline Kennedy, she’s a great mother. I imagine life at the White House is not pushy and fast paced, but more apple pie and doing homework. She’s explained her girl’s wishes, brought them to life, but still kept them at a level where they’re not spoiled.

Jane Seymour

I grew up watching Dr. Quinn Medicine woman, my mother watched it religiously. She was always an idol, something of strength and integrity.

Jennifer Garner

Through all the drama with Ben Affleck, she’s still a great mom. Never exploiting her kids for money or showing off her goods in public. She was awesome as Electra!

Liv Tyler

This is one of the few celebrity mom’s that are down to earth. At any chance, I don’t think she’d think twice about going to Walmart if she really needed to. She was wonderful in Armageddon and I love her work, it’s so great that she’s a great mom.

Julia Roberts

She’s beautiful, she’s gracious, she still makes me cry whenever I watch Step-Mom. Now, she’s a mama.

Metalia

A working mother who is hilarious and straight forward with everything she says. 100% Real

Barefoot Foodie

This was literally the first family/mother blogging site I went to, and my eyes bulged. I have never known anyone to just write, and never use the backspace button. I love her blog, you should too.

Suburban Turmoil

She’s in the Nashville Scene as a writer, a full time mama and step-mama, and a huge multi-tasker. Learn it from her.

And so SO many other woman!!!

My Best Friend

My Grandmother

Suburban Rebel Mom

Nomie

Is it 5 o’clock somewhere?

My Perspective

Dooce

Who do you admire as a mother in the celebrity, real and blogosphere world?

It's Summer

2010-04-30T23:40:00.000-07:00

We have the pleasure of living in the midst of suburbia and country life. A couple of miles from our apartment is the closest mall, and a couple of miles the other way is the county fair and greenhouses.

You know it's summer in these parts when the red signs come out and random people start breaking for no apparent reason. That's until you look at the side of the road and see a beautiful rocking chair or a nice basket. Then you start breaking yourself, inadvertently pissing off the people behind you until they see the rocking chair. Before you know it, a dozen people are glowing over this chair, and then making bids with the owner. The owner themselves, just wants to get rid of it for any cost.

It becomes warfare mid-July, instead of being Saturday 10am to whenever, it's Saturday 6am first come, first serve. People wake up their loved ones before dawn, bruising marriages along with it and then venture out into the unknown. Sometimes getting lost and ending up 30 miles from where you intended of going.

Then you hit the jackpot, the little hoarder on the outskirts of town. The little old lady who never got rid of that antique tea pot collection or the vintage mason jars from the 20's. You recieve all of the little knickknacks and furniture on a dime that you've been hunting for. Making this entire ordeal seem somewhat reasonable.

Until you look at your wallet... and your gas tank.

Wish us luck, along with myself, venturing out into new neighborhoods, and getting that steal. Pray for our marriages, where we bicker over the silliest of things, the 70's Pepsi truck that has enough lead to kill a person or the coffee table with the broken leg. And thank god when we return, with stories to tell and a little piece of something that almost got lost.

Thirteen Thursday - Is she really that crazy?

2010-04-29T10:32:00.000-07:00

Smile and Wave &; Shop Dirty Laundry had both done a "about me" post in the past couple of weeks. The questions didn't look to incriminating so I'll have a go of it.

1. When do you feel happiest?

Laundry is completely folded, all the paperwork is done and finished, dishes out of the sink, house is swept and cleaned. Not Martha Stewart clean but organized and squeaky.

2. How do you take care of yourself?
I’d like to say that I spend 2-3 hours a day exercising and walking but I don’t. Work likes to keep me late… very late. Summer is coming so the days of me ~~getting off my fat ass and~~ taking care of myself is soon.

3. Are you internally (by yourself) or externally (by others) motivated?

Motivating myself means thinking of others. I’m not being all Michele Obama but to get up in the morning and get things done I need to think of my family. This, this and this needs to get done so that this and this person can be happy and comfortable.

4. What do you do for fun?

Carnivals
Movies
Hanging out with great friends.

5. What intimidates you?
Change. I don’t like things changing.

6. What is something you're proud of?

This

7. Finish this sentence. I never _____________ have tried Chai Tea. Is it good?

8. Favorite vacation spot.
Virginia

The entire state is beautiful, warm and comforting. Reminds me of my childhood, NASCAR races and spending time with family.

9. Today is a (rate from 1 - 10). 8 I've gotta work but It's a nice day out and so far, it's been pretty good.

10. Finish this sentence. If you knew me really well you'd know I’m actually a blonde *GASP* Not dirty blonde, not strawberry blonde. Straight Gwyneth Paltrow blonde.

11. Favorite hobby?
This. Meeting so many extraordinary people in the blogging world and learning their story.

12. Favorite TV show?

Ghost Hunters.

13. Make up your own question. Post it on your board. I'll love to see what others come up with. Don't forget to comment!

Wordless Wednesday - Part of the Pack

2010-04-28T19:14:00.000-07:00

One awesome giveaway

2010-04-27T08:14:00.000-07:00

This one completely struck out as something beautiful and great for mother's day.

To Enter this Giveaway, head over to Nomie's EcoWare where you can go head of heels over some of the things on her site.

Also, if you're just interested on seeing what else they have. Check out Aveamour for other great things that she's creating. I especially like the simplistic one.

The question of the century, SAHM or WM?

2010-04-26T12:39:00.000-07:00

I could not do those heels!

With Mother’s day approaching us, and the future on my mind, I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between Stay at Home mothers and Working Mothers. The stresses that both jobs bring upon a woman and the differences between the two.

I honestly can’t find any statistics for 2009 after the economic downfall when families begun to rethink their finances and their future. How many mother’s had to decide to go back to work or how many have decided to weigh it out, hoping for the best. In my case, I’m looking for a little of both worlds. Working from Home.

The debate between SAHM and WM has been the talk for the past 20 some odd years. The economical standpoint of it all is mainly, can you afford it? Both ways. The cost of daycare has risen in the past 5 years, at an average of 300-500 dollars a week. Low paying jobs don’t give you an option of a daycare onsite, so you’re stuck with either paying for it yourself, having a trusted family member watch your children, or receive public assistance. The last, I’ll explain the uproot of Western NY in a bit.

The cost of commuting, business clothing, and other expenses weighs together on is it really worth it? For some people, most people, they have no choice. The idea of getting an extra 100 dollars a week after the cost of going to work is worth more than not having a paycheck at all. For others, it’s a choice. Going forth on their careers, maybe the children are in middle or high school where they’re more independent after school to take care of themselves. Or maybe they just enjoy their jobs that much, personally if I had my dream job as a journalist, I wouldn’t think twice about not going to work.

Then the debate on staying at home. Raising your own children instead of someone else doing it. I know this sounds harsh but the 9+ hours that parent’s aren’t around their children really do affect them in a profound way. The influence of the daycare workers and the other kids influence how your child is raised. Their ideas and philosophy’s bring on a different view of life other than your own, if they don’t co-exist, then this can be a problem.

I give major kudos for both Working Mothers and Stay at Home moms. In the 4 years that my son has been alive, I’ve been both. Working a full time job and trying to maintain a household is extremely hard. On top of that, my partner is going to school full-time. It’s all in the balance, and the time management. We do certain things on some days and other things can not be doing during the days that we work. Our social life and holidays are based on our work schedule.

Being at Stay at Home Mom, I had the pleasure of seeing my son’s first crawl, walk, and talk. The first milestones of a long life ahead of him. Patience and learning how to not go insane was the first things I learned. I couldn’t just not plan anything on a daily basis just like working outside of the home, I had to have a game plan or everyday was boring and no structure.

So here’s the question of the century. Which one do you prefer? Working from home? Staying at home and not working? Or working away from home?

Are there anymore options that I missed?

Also, I found this quiz to determine your “Mom Paycheck”. Don’t we all wish we could get this in our mail each other?

Second one

2010-04-23T23:41:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago coming back from my best friend’s house upstate, I ended up having a weird conversation with my son.

Honestly, I kinda wish it was the birds & the bees convo, but it didn’t quite go that way.

“Mommy… I want a baby sister.”

Insert- My heart Drop.
Insert- The boyfriend’s face go entirely white.
Insert- Ultimate silence.

“Maybe in a few years dear” I look over to the boyfriend carefully, hoping not to see him dead or wanting to duct tape my son’s mouth shut.

“ But I want a baby ssssiiisssttterrr….. Ppppleeeeaaassseee???!!!”

“In a few years dear, not right now” I felt like I was talking about going to school or a new toy.

“But I want one NOW!”

“It takes a while, I just can’t pull over on the side of the road and pop one out.”

“But why not?”

Ughfph.

This comes to the idea of having another baby and many many talks with Aaron. The idea to him is off and on. Sometimes he’s cool with it, other time’s he’s not. Especially after a tantrum from Darrell. Sometimes I’m cool with the idea, 100% there. And then other times, I’m not. Like after a hard day at work, or after a bad day with my son.

Honestly, I do. The whole baby craze has driven me a little crazy. I’m seeing a lot of my friends from high school, a lot of my co-workers and just people in general have kids. (Angelina on her 7th?! ) But seeing other people getting pregnant really a good reason for me to have another one?
Probably not. But there is still a twinge.

The age thing is there, especially with Aaron. I’m only 22, but he’s getting up there. I know I don’t want him to lose his wild years but at the same time, I want him to be able to enjoy being a parent. Not having a half heart attack.

The age thing isn’t just for Aaron and I either. It’s also with Darrell. To far apart, to close together? What’s the freakin’ difference… well my brother and I are 10 years apart. It’s not a pretty thing.

Lastly, finances… the money… the big pot. I don’t want to work when I have my next, and if I do, it’s going to be at home. I’d rather work from home and make my own hours then have to put our child into daycare. Nap time ten times a day, boobie time in front of the computer, babies have a tendency to be quiet if you let them… maybe.

But looking at this.

Link here

Definitely makes my heart melt.

So… if you have the option. Would you have another child? Bring another piece into your family?

P.S. There’s a TEST that you can take to decide whether or not your ready for Number 2. I’m upset that it didn’t include the question- “Are you ready to be fat again?”

P.P.S. This was the best straight forward list I could find that didn’t make you think children were gifts from the devil.

Thirteen Thursday

2010-04-22T09:09:00.000-07:00

Happy Earth Day! In celebration of today, I've included 13 ways you can do something for the Earth, as well as your wallet.

Link Here

1. Recycle and Reuse. There are so many easy things that people can do to reuse every day things. Keep your glass and plastic cans from pasta sauce, coffee tins, etc. Organize you’re grains, pencils, little knick nacks that get tossed around the house.

2. Buy thrift instead of brand new. Sometimes you have to, like underwear. But other times, instead of buying a $50 pair of jeans from a brand name store, try your thrift store. They have so many different styles and sizes at a couple of bucks per item. Even better, have a clothes swap with your friends, the clothes that you never wear can be definitely used by someone else!
3. Swap or Buy used toys. Kids look at the things and then go onto the next. You get them a million dollar item from the toy store, and three weeks later it’s buried in their closet. Try getting things that interest them but older kids no longer use.

4. Save Water. A lot of people don’t know is that third world countries don’t have drinkable water. It’s a luxury to them but common here within the U.S. Take shorter showers, purchase energy efficient washers and dishwashers. It’s a tax deductible too!!

5. Do not litter. I’ve seen personally people throw entire McDonald’s bags out the window on the highway. It’s so easy just to find a freakin’ trash can. (sorry, little peeved about this one).

6. Turn to Eco friendly cleaners. A little story: I was stupid cleaning my bathroom with scrubbing bubbles and a window cleaner. What happened? Two different chemicals combined and I got extremely sick. My son’s father had to come home and I nearly had to go to the hospital with chemical poisoning. Ever since then, I changed. Imagine your kids dropping a piece of food on the table and eating it again, what else are they eating that you cleaned the table with?

7. Turn off the lights. Not only are you saving some money with your electric bill, but your saving some energy also. Keep your lights off during the day and then only use a couple at night. Ourselves personally, have a little two bedroom apartment but this actually saves us a lot of money each month. Our electric bill is only 50 bucks.

8. Try the Farmers Market or even a farm. If you live close enough, try driving down a road that you know farms are. In the summer, especially on the weekends, farmers sell their own fruits and vegetables roadside. If you live in the city, try the Farmer’s Market. The carbon footprint of a drive of 10 minutes is nothing compared to the semi-trucks of hundreds of miles to bring you fruits and veggies from the other side of the country.

9. Shut off your heat. I’m dead serious. It’s 53 degrees outside and inside is 65. We shut off our heat. The amount of energy that will save is tremendous, and did I mention the lower gas bill.

10. Switch to energy efficient bulbs. One, they last longer. Two, they take less energy than a normal light bulb. A small investment that will save you money.

11. Purchase a metal water bottle. In the day and age of water in a bottle, we can’t help but wonder, what’s next? We have fresh water out of the tap, relatively clean water. If you still don’t trust it, get a home purifier. They’re cheaper than the $20 a week you buy 20 bottles of water with.

12. Walk instead of drive. Sometimes you can, it’s so much easier. Instead driving down to the store that’s a couple miles away, get the kids and take a walk. You’ll buy less at the store considering you’re thinking how much you need to lug back.

13. Stop Printing. There is no need to print anymore, with Blackberrys, ipods, ipads, kindles and everything else in-between, you need to read or research something, just look it up online. Don’t print off anything at home other than what you really need. Go paperless with bills. Print coupons online instead of clipping them so you’re really using what you print. As a former worker at a printing press, some people have no clue how much energy and waste it takes to make a simple newspaper wrap.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-21T10:43:00.000-07:00

This is mine. Please don't steal. Thank you.

It's time...

2010-04-20T23:05:00.000-07:00

Picture from Here

My notable inability to accept that my little monster is becoming Big Foot has made me realize that we need to get on the pre-school bandwagon and start preparing for the day that I regret most of all.

He starts school.

I know that he’s going to love it, playing with kids all day, learning new things. Hell, what kid sits there and watches Life weekly and asks questions? This isn’t by my own accord either, I’d rather be watching 16 & Pregnant or Chopped. Not listening to Opera and watching toads mate.

But am I ready? As a mother, as a woman rather who went through school tormented by her peers and made fun of until the 10th grade when I grew a pair of balls (not literally). I don’t want my own past nightmare to be an overshadow of his big day, or the days that come after it. But I know for a fact that he doesn’t like getting laughed at, he doesn’t like getting picked on and he doesn’t like getting bullied. I’m curious and worried about how he’s going to react that day. Praying at the same time that he doesn’t start hating school.

Tomorrow I’m taking a look at preschools, I’ve got one in mind. Head Start in my ex’s hometown. This way I can drop him off at school, and then his dad can pick him up during the day. Also it’ll be fun for Monster to see his daddy come with the Fire truck come October (Fire Prevention month!)

The other thing that bugs me…. I’m actually looking forward to doing homework again.

Welcome to the Circus

2010-04-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

When I started all of this I really just didn’t want to talk about my life and the nothingness of it. And then I realized… my life is FAR from boring. Not glamorous or something to be jealous of, but certainly not boring.

The day started off pretty easy, woke up at 9:30 and took Aaron to school. It’s impeccably early for us, considering I don’t get home from work usually until 1:30am. Morning coffee, check. Lovin’ Tim Hortons, check. Hating McDonalds in the morning, check. Seriously, who stops their breakfast at 10:30am? I always believed that lunch shouldn’t be served until noon, in fast food or at home.

We then went onto Buffalo, where I dreaded this time since last Thursday. The IRS building. I’ve been there 13546873125321 times in the last five months, trying to get this bullshit paperwork done. But it just seems as soon as I feel that it’s over, it’s really not. I honestly don’t feel that making the trip to the IRS building is a hassle, or talking to them is a pain in the ass, but the paperwork.

You need Form A attached to Schedule D attached to Maintenance Form 40 with virgin blood and a three headed pig. No, I am not kidding you ma’am.

The pain of it all starts in the parking lot. Simple, 5 dollars to park for 60 minutes, 6 dollars to park for 90 minutes. I couldn’t find that extra dollar, so I prayed and prayed that this wouldn’t take more than an hour.

We get inside the building, go through the metal detector which Darrell wanted to climb INTO. Get padded down and anal probed.

We meet the very same woman I was suppose to find, she gives me to another woman who I’ve previously spoken to. Who goes through 2 long ass questionnaires to see if what I need is really what I need when they were the ones to tell me that I needed it. Making sense anyone?

Meanwhile, my son is creating all chaos. Almost breaking the woman’s cubical door. It SLIDES, not OPENS. NO, you can NOT keep the highlighters. Do NOT chew on the little train thingie that she gave you. WHY are you drawing on the train thing with a highlighter???

MEANWHILE, she is asking me a million questions, and filling out a long ass form. Took Darrell to the bathroom per request (good man), and then came back. OMG the receptionist is a freakin’ nutcase. She saw me leave with Darrell, I told her I’d be back, I went to the restroom, came back.

Where are you going? To cubical 8. Did she tell you to come back? Yes. I told you when we left. Well, you don’t need to get snotty with me. -Me walking away- You don’t need to roll your eyes and give me attitude, I’m just doing my job. She’s screaming this across the office btw.

We get all the paperwork done, my blissfulness through this all is just slammed down to the darkness of hell because of the balance remaining. I leave the office, go back out to the car to see what…..

A fucking parking ticket.

For not paying enough.

UGH!

The rest of the day went well. My son had his doctor’s appointment, healthy and fat as a cow. Not fat, fat, but in the 95 percentile of height and weight. Turning 4 next month, growing out of size 6 clothes. How big is this kid gonna be when he’s 18? 7 feet tall? He better be a good football player or something. Freakin’ college tuition.

Went to see my BBF upstate for a while, still makes me want a baby.

So I called the IRS….. And it’s all good. I can sleep, the freaking out is no longer there. I feel that I can plan for the future in a few weeks. Some sort of solidarity of everything is just wonderful. I can keep my paycheck.

Because, ya know, living life without my Timmy Hoe’s is out of the question.

I like Cheese

2010-04-18T20:07:00.000-07:00

Lets start off this post by saying I like cheese.

Not just this cheese.

But this cheese.

Lets also say that I'm lactose intolerant. BADDD!!!

Why am I talking about my intolerancy to beautiful things like ice cream, milk shakes, queso, cheese foundue? Because why do we do things to ourselves when we know that it's not good for us.

Like my glorious taco dip.. I know I shouldn't have it.. but I do. And I pay the consequences by taking a 5 1/2 minute break every ten-fifteen minutes, and having stomach pain worse than labor.

It's SO GOOD!

My favorite thing in the world is my taco dip... as well as buttered popcorn, yet another lactose byproduct. Ya know, I can't deal with just liking grapes and little tiny 100 calorie cookies that my son eats 3-4 of them in one sitting. Just can't deal.

Note to self: Get the cookies away from the kid.

Back to topic... so I wish I could go through life not liking cheese, milkshakes, any type of lactose product. But I can't.

I love it, I think of it, I look at it and I WANT IT.

So I pay the consequences... and curl up in bed. Licking my fingers of buttery popcorn, and trying not to hurl.

Two things that I've got to do tomorrow that I don't want to do but I've gotta do them or pay the consequences of the ninja fighting pirates.

1. Take the kid to the doctors for shots ALONE. No one other than the poor nurse that has to be in the room sitting there looking at me like I'm a pathetic mother.

2. Go to the IRS. Which includes driving to the city... parking the car... walking with the kid into the IRS building... hoping he doesn't try to take every single piece of paper around him so he can draw... hoping he can sit still long enough so I can get this shit DONE AND OVER WITH. (5th time I've been to the building in 5 months, they know me by name).

Painting

2010-04-17T00:21:00.000-07:00

Our land lord gave us an option to paint our living room. Given that our house was built in the late 1800’s, I’ve tried to keep with the simple country charm and our own twist on it. There’s a lot that I want to do, like have some better furniture if possible. I love my TV being on the little landing that it is… but it’s a little to minimalist/college student sometimes. Maybe spruce it up with some paint?

I love wrought-iron pieces and a lot of vintage stuff. Although my collection is just a few candle holders I’m hoping that this paint job will give me some inspiration to go bargain hunting and go to yard sales this summer.

So we’ve decided ~~between two colors for the living room~~ , one color for the living room. Aaron refused any red or khaki, and I wanted to stay muted as much as possible.

Like it? I do too. It’s a little darker than I had wished but the lighter colors make the room seem to cutesy. I want a posh but subtle look with not blinding my eyes.

Other things I’m changing are replacing the window valances, replacing one of the blinds that the previous tenants had destroyed, painting Darrell’s room green or a bright blue. C’mon, it’s a kid. He doesn’t care either way. I’m going to ask him first though. Last thing is that I want is a tantrum over paint colors. Also DIYing certain pieces of furniture because I love the wood finish, but I want them to match.

So wish me luck on trying to accomplish all of this without sacrificing my sanity.

Here's to you

2010-04-15T23:24:00.000-07:00

After the sun has set and the day is done, I’m still caring for you. Not as a husband, not as a lover… but as a friend.

We met nearly 5 years ago, on a couch, drunk as hell. The start to a journey that has change my life forever. I don’t see the challenges that we’ve faced as something as hell, as others do, I see it as another crack in the long road that everyone has in life. A lot of it I regret, as any adult does her younger years. A lot of it I wish I could go back and change things. I still sit here today and think that so much could be different, so much could be better. If we both tried a little harder.

My official apology isn’t to you, but to us. All three of us. As friends, as companions for the next 18 years of our son’s life. I’m so glad that we don’t fight anymore, and the hateful thoughts that run through our minds stay within and not get lashed out. I’m so glad that we’ve decided to come together, forget our differences and work together as a parental unit.

Sometimes I do see you, and I see myself as a 17 year old girl, wearing pink pants and drinking Mike’s hard. Sometimes I see him, and I see you, sitting there on the floor goofing off trying to get me to piss my pants.

He’s so much of you, and I’m proud of that. He’s caring, worrisome (maybe that’s me), goofy… free.

So… here’s to me hoping for us. For us to be friends in a week, six months, six years from now.

Here’s to us being there for our son, letting him know that it’s not his fault. He’s so good.

Here’s to us letting go of our own problems in life, love, work, stress and sex and just work together as one. Instead of what had been.

And as much as you feel as though you don’t deserve it. Here’s to you.

Thirteen Thursday

2010-04-15T09:39:00.000-07:00

Deciding to go with Memes is the easiest thing I've done. Wednesdays are normally not as exciting as lets say... Mondays. And Thursdays are to busy. Back to work, no more slacking off. Wordless Wednesday and Thirteen Thursday are the only two I'm doing as of right now. On a later date I'm going to be doing Review Monday when I purchase a product on my own accord and review it. Whether or not it stinks or it totally fabulous, I'll let the truth be known.

Here are 13 recipes I will try to do this week, try is the key word. A lot of them are lunch items and snack items, because I eat dinner at work every night. I'll post if they are good or not, easy or omfglol I can't believe I tried this and why is my kitchen on fire?

Grown up Grilled Cheese
Lemon Shrimp Scampi Pasta
Fat Darrell Sandwich Recipe (It's a true man sandwich. Chicken Fingers, French Fries and Mozz sticks. Oh the grease! And I love the name. )
Crunchy Turkey Salad Sandwiches
English Muffin Breakfast Pizza
Warm Strawberry Shortcake
Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits (these will be made with the recipe below <--- Copy cat)
Olive Garden Chicken Vino Bianco
Ham & Cheese Panini
Yogurt & Fruit Smoothie
Ham & Cheese Empanadas
Grab & Go Breakfast sandwich
Ham & Turkey Tumble (Note: My kid likes alot of ham)

This is where I feel that I am

2010-04-14T14:08:00.000-07:00

Find this here

Things every renter should know

2010-04-13T23:56:00.000-07:00

The aftermath of today has been pretty interesting but lead to me thinking of things I didn't know 24 hours ago.

Ponds do not belong in the basement or the lower apartment
Sense of urgency is when you go in outside without a bra and your kid is only in a Pull-up.
Showering with 2 strange men outside the door is irrelevant when you have to be at work in 1 hr.
Despite a fountain pouring from the ceiling, cats still will run into the basement without a bat of an eye.
At All times keep your bathroom clean so your not scrubbing for 45 minutes so that the plumber that looks at shit all day doesn't see your boyfriends porn under the sink/spare pregnancy test/the little area around the toilet that no one ever bothers with.
Even if it's RAINING in your landlords bathroom, giving the kid a sponge bath seems like a good idea but really isn't.

My landlord is AWESOME. An hour into work I receive a text message saying everything is a-okay. AND were talking about painting on Thursday. SO AWESOME!

Lets grow!

2010-04-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

One of the things that I want to do with Darrell this summer is grow something. Show him that if you place a seed inside of soil, take care of it, it will grow. Everything grows in this world, including him.

At my Grandmother's today we measured Darrell... he's over 3 feet tall now! My towering baby is going to grow to be probably 7 feet if this keeps up. The measurement wasn't completely accurate due to him squirming but hopefully next week at the doctors will show us his true height.

Anywhoo... this is what were gonna start on next Monday. The only thing I don't know yet is what herb to use and if my cat eats it, will it kill her? I've gotta research this a little bit more, maybe catnip?

The last thing I want is the cat rolling around dead and my son in utter agony.

Wish us luck... especially the cat.

The vanity of blogging

2010-04-11T00:46:00.000-07:00

I'm not a bright person... and my old blog was VERY bright. It hurt my eyes, literly. So I changed a few things.

Spent about 3 hours on it looking for everything and changing stuff. If anyone has any suggestions, please tell me.

I know I don't get many page views with this blog, I'm really hoping that I'm not talking to myself. I haven't monetize this blog, and I don't think that I will in a while, if I ever do. So, just to let ya'll know, if you're out there... I'm certainly not in it for the money.

The whole reason for me blogging is to bear my heart out into the world and actually make my opinions be heard. There are a lot of issues with the world, and a lot of things in my head. My one specific goal is just to write. I love writing, always have and always will.

The start of this blog has made me a better writer, and I'm hoping after time it'll make me an excellent writer.

Well... here's to a new blog image and a new start with this thing.

It's ninja stalker trolling at it's best.

2010-04-08T23:00:00.000-07:00

I promised Aaron I'd put this in my blog.

This is what he'll look like in 10 years.

I promise.

I lied, I didn't promise...

So I've been searching the net, like, nuts lately. So badly I decided to start a delicious account because my web browser was getting overcrowded with bookmarks. It's bad enough that the poor man has to go on a scavenger hunt for his websites let alone clicking on the wrong one and finding a blog about travel vagina.

I've found a few cool things though:

New Hair cut:

Enter your phone number, e-mail address or name and see how people can stalk you soooo easily.

This makes me want to re-decorate my entire living room:

I want it!! I want it!! I want it!! I want it!! I want it!! I want it!!
But I'd pop it to much

This is so the coffee table I'd have if I didn't have children:

And last but not least... a child can do this but I can't..

Bubble Time

2010-04-07T16:11:00.000-07:00

It was warm

And I downloaded a new toy.

I love Picasa!!!

Playground Pecking Order

2010-04-05T21:49:00.000-07:00

Darrell got his first taste of playground bullying/pecking order today. There’s no other way to explain it. We went to my best friend’s daughter’s birthday where there were a bunch of kids from the neighboring apartments. My son, being the youngest, was excluded from a few things, i.e. Skateboarding the normal way, getting on a big boy bike, and pushing the birthday girl around until she probably puked.

Needless to say, he was pissed. I was slightly irked. Not at the other children, or their parents, but at my son. Well, not at him per say but the situation itself.

All of my childhood I was picked on for one reason or another. Especially when I moved to Western NY. I don’t know why, I was a weird child. Being 5 feet in the 3rd grade and towering over all the boys and girls doesn’t help either. (An exception: Marla, she’s fabulous). I didn’t really like hanging out with other kids, I really didn’t hang out with anyone really until 9th grade. And even that part is weird and abnormal, all of my friends were seniors.

So… to the point. Enough of me. I didn’t like the fact that my son was being picked on, that God descended on this Earth and chose my son to be the black sheep of the group, and it was fate that he was the one. I didn’t like the fact that he didn’t adapt to the other kids… maybe playing with chalk or running around like a maniac that he is. I didn’t like the fact that he ran inside and cried for a good 10 minutes telling me everyone hates him.

This isn’t something I was expecting so soon, maybe in 1st or 2nd grade… maybe in Middle school even. But before preschool? My worst fear is that my son won’t have the confidence to keep himself above water and to cheer himself on when needed. That school will destroy his soul like it did myself, and even his father.

Is being the black sheep genetic? I really fucking hope not.

Lets get back to the boobies

2010-04-05T08:27:00.000-07:00

A recent study states that Breast Feeding can save lives and money. DUH! Does anyone realize how much formula cost??? Most people I know had gotten it on WIC, but they have to purchase it somehow, which in turn, tax payers (including those who are on WIC) pay for it. So it's just an endless cycle.

I really do understand people who can't breast feed, in the article there's this huge debate due to some mothers stating that they can't breast feed for medical reasons. That's FINE. If you can't, you can't. If you can, do it! But what about the mom's who are at home, their boobies are fine and full, and they feel uncomfortable.

The issues get narrowed down to many things. Porn in fact. How many huge breasted girls do you see in porn? And when you think of someone SUCKING on your boobie, you get a little queezy because this is your kid. I felt the same way for a while, but people need to stop. This isn't a cheap date that you're necking with on the couch, it's your kid. It's the living being that ate what you ate for nine months, and afterwards you can provide more.

How about breast-feeding in public? My friend recently told me she'd breast feed longer if she didn't get the glares for exposing her breasts in public. New York State has a topless law where women can go around topless without being criminally charged. This isn't just for strip clubs, but for breast feeding mommas and cops who are pricks. How many times have you seen a newborn in a restaurant sipping from a bottle? How many times have you seen someone breast feed at the same place?

How about breast-feeding at work? The new health care reform is putting that in stone where large employers are required to give a mother a private and comfortable spot to pump. At work now, I ask myself that question is where do we pump? I see a tiny little chair in the side of the bathroom next to a broken down urinal. The spare woman's bathroom was once a Men's room. Mind you, I'm NOT pregnant. But there are three women in my work that are. Are we allowed ample time to pump? It's not just a question of my work, but a lot of companies out there.

It's a controversial thing, I really don't understand why though. My grandmother breast fed, her grandmother before her breastfed. It's been going on not only for generations but the beginning of time. How is this so taboo now in the modern age?

The jist of it all is lets get back to basics and keep our kids healthy. Due to everything that our society gives these kids, immunizations, healthy food, good doctors, why can't we do something as mothers?

Happy Easter

2010-04-04T10:50:00.001-07:00

And this is why we shouldn't try to surprise our kids

Freak out

2010-04-03T23:57:00.000-07:00

So time to time I freak out occasionally over some things.

Sometimes it’s not huge, it’s the little shit that adds up over time. Other times, it’s the big things.

Tonight was one of the big things, it’s something that is unfortunately, is always on my mind.

Money, fucking money. I sit there sometimes and look at cash. Wonder why this shit rules the world. If the world was fueled on happiness then it would be better. Truly…. I’m not trying to be a hippy.

I’ve got a lot of worries over this shit. I think I do owe myself that worry considering I’ve been homeless twice. No, I’m not in the dilemma, not ever again. But the idea of not having the shit, of not being able to buy a cup of coffee just drives me a little nutty.

I keep telling myself when I have panic attacks every week when we go to Wal-Mart to grocery shop, that everything is going to be okay. When I know, that in the end, it always is. But the trip to get to okay is never okay. It’s tiring, crying, mess of shit that I don’t want to deal with but have to.

It even brings out the worst in me. I’m usually a good caring person, but when I worry about this kind of stuff. It makes me hate people. The world in general. I’m here, struggling, week to week to make by sometimes and then people get handed a check from the government because they don’t have a job. But I pay my taxes (Oh, don’t even LET me think of that one) and I work my job, day after day. Sometimes when I’m sick as a dog, when my son is sick, so I can put a roof over my head and food on the table. I don’t receive food stamps, I don’t receive any type of assistance or child support. Everything that comes into this house, is from my and Aaron’s paycheck.

So, I could be a bad person by thinking that way. But sometimes I don’t give a duck.

I calmed myself down. Got into the shower, took some care of myself which I’ve been neglecting horribly. Had a cigg, boiling some eggs for tomorrow so I can take some to my best friend’s house. And relaxing.

Right now, at 3 am there’s not much I can do about my money situation. I can sit there and cry, yell, scream, but right now, this very moment, there’s nothing I can do.

I hate it.

April Fools Day

2010-04-01T09:26:00.001-07:00

Today is April 1st. Haven't gotten a joke yet. *knock on wood*

Oh but I've thought of many of things to do with Aaron.

Like get a fake pregnancy test that said positive

Have the police call him to bail me out of jail (to bad I don't know any cops in Hamburg)

One that COULD work is have my supervisor tell him I'm fired... but I know I'm just playing with fire at that.

So many others... so little time. Muhahaha.

But this is NOT a April Fools Joke.
Isn't it beautiful???

I can't wait until Saturday. In the 80s C'mon! That's unheard of this early in spring.

Meds

2010-03-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

So the kid has a cold. It's a coughing, running nose, headache thing that the entire household and it seems the world has.

My work has it, so does my ex and his family, both Aaron and I have it. My best friend's kids have it. It's horrible. UGH!

So I took some medicine at work... Pamprin was the only thing I could wiggle out of people. Going around cubical to cubical asking people if they have any drugs makes me look like a loony, so I asked my favorite medicine girl. I owe her a bottle of midol from my last period though.

It did shit, absolutely shit. I was sitting there with a bigger headache but my cramps were gone! Blepf. So another girl gave me some aspirin, old school aspirin that actually said it right on the pill. I took one. Was high as a kite for like six hours. Took the other, was giggling at customers. It wasn't a bad high, I didn't see any dancing unicorns or anything, unfortunately, that would of made work a little more tolerable. But I was happy, my headache was gone and I could stand people the rest of the day.

Mind you, I didn't do this on purpose. I didn't know the reaction would be like that. I'm not intentionally getting high at work. It was an accident. Aaron will never let me do it again. Me being happy, while he's being a miserable bastard at work? Never again!

So after I got home, my baby is coughing like a 60 yr old chain smoker. I give him some meds. He hates the shit. I tell him he can have a sip of his apple juice if he takes another sip. A chaser at three? Why not. He asks me to take a sip too.

Omg. This is the most horrible crap I've ever tasted. It's like stale orange juice with lemon and something else. It tasted mediciny and disgusting.

I checked the expiration date on it, it's legit. I just bought it a few months ago before cold season hit, thank god he only really got sick once and it was a stomach bug.

Tomorrow we're going to the store and picking up better tasting shit. Because after having to swallow your snot all day from your sinuses running, you wanna taste something better to make you feel better.

He's asking for bubble gum flavor. Yummy.

Weird shit

2010-03-30T10:41:00.001-07:00

Weird thing have happened yesterday…

1. I cleaned my house. Like… ALL of the laundry is sorted, folded AND put away. *GASP*. I found a few things of Darrell’s baby clothes. Two things I’m keeping though, one onesie that I almost slept with last night. And a Thomas the Tank Engine shirt that belonged to his brother when he was a little. Gotta keep the cute stuff.

Trust me the whole experience made me a bitch. When Aaron came home from school, he let me sit, gave me coffee and let me find my brain again. Trying to clean with a three year old in the house is near to impossible. I’m sitting there, with a mountain of clothes, trying to fold, sort, whatever, and he’s deciding to use it as his own personal climbing adventure. With his shoes on. Gah!

Everything was done yesterday, although my kitchen still looks like I never touched it. But that’s what always happens when I wake up not so-awake and cook a full breakfast.

2. I get a phone call from my grandmother randomly, saying that some lady in Derby has my high school ring. I’m asking myself when did I lose it?

I’ve lost so many things over the past four years, I’ve begun not to take inventory of my personal belongings anymore. Just so that I can tell myself “it’s in a box somewhere”. I’ve moved 8 times in the past four years, not counting the two times that I was homeless. Things have gotten lost, stolen, thrown out, left behind, repoed, taken by the sock fairy who is a kleptomaniac. A lot has been broken up between myself and my ex. When I moved into this apartment though, I went through EVERYTHING. (But I still have things in my storage unit). Threw out a lot, gave away a lot, gave back everything I could find of my ex‘s, planning on burning my wedding pictures this summer (Naw, I’m not gonna do that. Probably put them in a box in a closet, with a note, never to open this again).

So anyhow, back to my class ring. My grandma gave me this number, and I called it. I was all expected it to be some crazy pedophile or something looking for a million dollars. I went there. Behold, it was a firefighter. The irony kills me in this situation. The old man was very nice, asked me a bunch of questions I was afraid to answer (are you married now? Where do you live now? Why did you live here? Etc. etc) Thanked him nicely and left.

My high school ring represents a time where things were innocent. I had the most naïve mind in the world. High School wasn’t so great for me though, especially my senior year, but it was still one of the best experiences I’ve had.

Now this ring is never going leave my finger.

3. I realized my social life is gone.

Like completely GONE. It took a vacation to florida and never came back. Or the kleptomaniac sock fairy took it. I don’t know which.

I went to visit my friend Jake at my old job, and he literally said, I haven’t seen you in months. MONTHS??? Okay.. This is bad.

So in April, I’m going to throw Aaron a half-graduation party. It’s only half because he’s getting his two year degree, still got a year and a half to go. He doesn’t know about it yet, no it’s not going to be a surprise, I just thought about it a few hours ago.

A party will get my social life going again? Right? Probably not. Fixing my work schedule will though. Yes, I’m back to that. Blah. So I’m determined to get it rolling again. Revive what is truly mine. Something that I use to have, on a daily basis, and now is rusting in the garage. (I don’t have a garage though, that’s the sad part).

On my mind...

2010-03-27T23:05:00.000-07:00

What’s been on my mind a lot lately? My ability of being a parent.

I know I’ve written about this before, repetitive paranoia. Well it’s not really the ability of me being a parent. It’s me wanting to have a job that gives me the ability to be a better parent.

Right now, picking my son up so late is getting on my nerves. I want to put him to bed at a regular hour, I want to be able to spend some time with him, maybe even have a late dinner and then play some. It’s not a horrible request, it’s something very normal.

But my life is far from normal.

So to bring normalcy to life, I asked work for a change in scheduling. I’ve already been told by two people that it’s nearly impossible due to what team Aaron is working on. If I don’t get this change… I don’t know what I’m going to do.

I don’t like changes, I don’t like life being unknown. Yes, yes I can’t predict the future. But if I have a good understand of what’s to come, then I can sleep a little better at night.

Like, for about 2 weeks now I thought that I didn’t have Easter off and that I had to work. Checking my schedule for next week, I find out that I do have it off, Aaron doesn’t…

Darrell is going down to his father’s grandparent’s house for the weekend. I’ll probley either ask to come in or go up to my best friend’s house. The idea of spending a holiday alone irks me. I’ve never done it before.

So in essence, I just hope that everything works out okay. That life can be planned and thought out instead of wondering things. And maybe I can get some more sleep.

35 Things to do this summer.

2010-03-24T20:06:00.000-07:00

Buffalo New York is a cold desolate place in the winter time. The only thing that really keeps us going is beer and hockey. I'm not joking either. If I had to guess, 75% of people in Western New York have seasonal depression. Were miserable, freezing buffaloians who decided for some god awful reason to stay in this area where snow is falling from Halloween to Easter. But then it finally melts, which it has, the sun comes out. People get a little less homicidal and we start planning on the summer.

Our summers are our trophies sort to speak. We have a enormous amount of festivals, fairs, parks, places where we can get enough sun to look like Brook Hogan in just a few weeks.

So I decided to list some things to do this summer. Mind you, this is my own personal list. Things that I want to do with my family. If you do want to explore more, Artvoice, a local newspaper wrote an article last year 100 things to do for the summer. It's an article from 2008 but it's still valid for many reasons. I grabbed a couple that sparked my interest, and the dates on the Artvoice list doesn't apply to some of the festivals. But they're yearly, religiously even, so check it out on Google if you need to.

Erie County Botanical Gardens
Albright Knox Art Gallery
Buffalo Zoo
Buffalo Museum of Science
Strong Museum of Play
Erie County Fair
Go to the Taste of Buffalo
Buffalo Italian Festival
Allentown Art Festival
Eden Corn Festival
Go see Toy Story 3
Mudpies Childrens Museum
Explore and More Children's Museum
Explore a farmers Market
Even better, to go a farm
Have a picnic
Go to a Ballgame
Go Bowling
Learn Yoga with the kiddies
Go to the Beach
Lay Beneath the stars
Grow something
Make a Bird Feeder.
Decorate a clay pot
Fly a kite
Spend a day at Niagara Falls; Maid of the Mist a must.
Go to a drive-in Movie
Take a boat ride through the Canal Locks in Lockport
Visit Graycliff
Collect Fossils at PennDixie
Visit Lilydale
Pick your own berries
Go Wine Tasting
Visiting the Corning Museum of Glass
Go Putt Putt Golfing

Day off

2010-03-24T11:54:00.000-07:00

So Day off Part II

Beautiful day outside... Haven't gotten dressed yet... BUT

The living room is clean
The floors have been swept
Darrell's room has been cleaned (as good as it's gonna get without organizing it)
Every surface has been cleaned
Kitchen floor has been moped
Bathroom is clean

Now... I'm FREAKIN' Exhausted.

The Weather SUCKS

2010-03-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my day off...

Did I do anything productive? No.

Half of the dishes were done, half of the laundry folded, I didn't get out of my Pjs until probably 2pm.

I'm pissed off! I was so looking forward to taking Darrell to the playground and let him let loose. Run around and scream as much as he wants. Instead he had to do it inside, which drove me crazy.

Tomorrow is looking better. Thank god. I told Darrell a week ago that spring was here.. and now it feels like October.

I am exhausted

2010-03-21T23:35:00.001-07:00

Two days of work and not enough Darrell makes mommy a crazy lady.

I worked Saturday and Sunday, my normal days. Only saw my son for a few hours on Saturday morning. You'd think in 48 hrs I could get a lot done? Nope. I went grocery shopping but Aaron had to put the groceries away while I went to work.

Darrell spent the time with his dad and grandparents. They took him to the circus and bought him new toys and a movie. Doesn't this make mommy feel like an ass?

I'm not trying to compete with my ex, in no way. Just, I don't want to feel like I'm letting my son down or something by not buying him new toys or taking him to events like that. I would love a weekend off, to go frolicking with my son, take him to something somewhere. But I've gotta work. Not that I choose to, I'm not one of those moms who work because their bored at home. I have to work. My work schedule is mirrored by Aaron's because 4 trips to Buffalo a day is alot of money in gas that we don't have. Aaron's work schedule is that way to float around his school schedule. Full time student going for his 4 year degree in Political Science. To have a better future so that one day, some day, we don't have to rent anymore, we don't need to live pay check to pay check and maybe, just MAYBE someday, we can afford a house.

Why do I want a house of my own? So I can start my own business and live the way that I want to. I want to take a day off sometime and just play hookie with my son. Sit on a park bench and eat ice cream on a Saturday. To be able to take him to school, pick him up and then go to any event he has that week. Be involved in his life.

Ya know I got denied his birthday off at work? Now I have to find someone who is off on Sunday, the day before memorial day, who is WILLING to switch with me and is also off on Wednesday. Or I'll be sitting at work, miserable and pissed off, because my son is turning 4 and I'll be missing it. Just so that I can keep a roof over his head.

So I'm off of my soap box. Time for bed. Time for sleep. Ughfck.

When he was young

2010-03-20T23:42:00.000-07:00

When he was young, I was.

I had my son at the tender age of 18. Slightly by an oops and slightly by a oh my... There was no doubt in my mind regarding this child of mine. Scared hopelessly beyond belief, I entered motherhood. For the two years, I had his father holding my hand. Telling me along. Letting me know when I was doing right or wrong. But then it happened, and I was alone with him. Not completely alone, I still lean on his father for certain things. It was horrible, I was horrible.

Now... is a different story.

My little boy getting so big, and he's so bright. His words, his actions, his looks, when he sleeps. It scares me that my little boy is going to no longer my little boy. In a year he's going to into school...

Now... I can't live without him.I work a full time job with odd hours, his dad takes him when I can't. When I can, I love it. No matter who's around or what were doing, I love it. I try to come up with as much stuff to do with this little man. What he can do and learn.

I finally get down and play with him, more than I have his tiny 3 years of life. I build castles, he builds me our home. We draw pictures of kitty and fire trucks and little men. We go for walks and get juice whenever the weather is okay. We build snowmen and forts. Hide when the birdies visit. We take drives, and look at the different buildings next to the road. Red one. Blue one. Pink one. We build forts in the middle of the living room, put a TV in there and watch a movie. We hide under the covers and tell each other the "monster" is having a snack.

Now, I'm not afraid. I'm not fearful of this beautiful time with my son. For this time, is the greatest.

Erin Go Bragh - Happy St Patricks Day

2010-03-17T12:59:00.000-07:00

Pictures.. past... trips... yey

2010-03-16T22:25:00.000-07:00

I went and visited my best friend yesterday and took the opportunity to be a camera whore with the kids. I don't have that many of my niece and nephew, I feel guilty. Hell, I don't have that many of my son.

Thinking about it, my parents were camera whores too. I have four LARGE boxes of pictures, all of my younger childhood, my mother's entire life from beginning to end, my brother and his father. A lot of freakin' pictures. Imagine trying to catalog all of them. I gave up though, there just in boxes. Eventually I'll go through all of them and return what isn't mine.

I'm planning a trip to visit my former town of Penn Yan this summer. I go every June on my mother's D-day, I try to though. This time, I have a mission. I'm getting in touch with some of my mother's friends.... maybe I should bring the boxes... ???

Anywhoo, this was complete random post. I apologize. Enjoy the super cute pictures of the kids... and of course my son won't smile like a nice normal boy. Boys will be boys.

Move over Martha Stewart... here comes Katie! .... maybenot.

2010-03-15T09:43:00.000-07:00

I've made cakes before... brownies, casseroles, a turkey for the first time in November... now I'm on to pastry.

It was good... to me anyways. Aaron gobbled his down. Darrell didn't touch his. I don't know why, it's sugary goodness. But it's a start, simple Apple Turnovers.

Darrell did something amazing today. I know, I know, another mother bragging about her kid. But if you knew him, it is amazing. He got dressed all by himself, he wanted to get dressed. Usually this kid wants to sit in his Pjs all day. But he asked for a change, retrieved his clean clothes from his room, didn't let me in his room and came out with everything on, including shoes. No distractions. I'm wondering if there's a button on this kid, where whenever he feels like he wants to be mischievous, he presses it. And then all other times, he's good.

I asked him where he was going, he said no where. Ok...? So why the shoes? Me on the other hand, it's 1:15pm and I'm still in my pajamas. Well, I'm waiting for the dryer to finish with fresh towels. But it's no excuse.

Clocks Forward

2010-03-14T10:40:00.000-07:00

Picture from here

At 2:08am dis-morning, yes I am up that late, I was talking to my best friend on the phone. SUDDENLY, something horrible happens. I lose an hour of sleep. HOW CAN THAT HAPPEN? This resulted me waking up late, seeing that Aaron had to take off for an emergency, everything is in disarray.

My life is controlled by time. I'm not kidding either. I wake up at a certain time with my son, in order to get breakfast and what-not then get him over to his father's at a certain time. Then I need to be at work at a certain time. Then my work is controlled by how long I'm on the phone, when my breaks are, and then I leave at a certain time.

The only good thing about this, is that shit that's on the ground. It's white, fluffy and cold is going to be GONE in a few weeks. Yey!

Little men

2010-03-13T09:33:00.000-08:00

My son loves to draw. To paint, to create. He can sit there for hours playing with his crayola wonder pens. I honestly believe that those little markers are the best invention for mothers of young children. Especially little boys that don't like to listen.

He draws little men. He won't name them, even though I give them different names he just scolds me and tells me that it's his little man.

Darrell's inspiration doesn't stop at paper though, many times I have found him hiding behind the couch or in a corner... drawing his little men on the wall. Not all of his art supplies are color wonder. That's where Clorox is my best friend.

But today, he decided to take his men with him. Wherever he goes. Until the soap takes him away.
Good luck little men

Same old same old

2010-03-12T08:55:00.000-08:00

Life being calm for me is actually a really good change. For years, I'm not exaggerating, it's been chaotic and ridiculous.

Darrell is spending the next couple of days with his grandparents, despite everything, I don't really mind it. His great-grandparents are coming from a couple of counties over to visit. Considering that he sees my grandmother every week, I think it's only fair. He really loves spending time with his Dad too. His hero. My ex is a firefighter, a good one at that. He lives and breathes for this stuff. The wailing of a siren perks him up from the deadest of sleep. My son is the same way, for the first few years of his life he grew up sleeping to the fire scanner. After a while, he started remembering the tones for his dad to leave. It's amazing that a 11 month old can wake up just as well as him to get to a call. To little though to fit into bunker gear.

St. Patrick's day is not going to be huge for us this year. I'm half Irish but my family really doesn't celebrate it as much as other S. Buffalo families do. I'm doing it the lazy way for the first time and making Corned Beef and Cabbage. The S.O. loves the stuff, I remember soggy cabbage and really sour beef. This was back when I was about 11-12 though. So hopefully my tastes have changed.

Some other things are going on right now with a few dear friends of mine, more or less extended family. All I want to say as of right now is just pray for the children, they've been through so much in so little time. Hopefully they come out of all of this well.

P.S. The S.O is the significant other, per my previous post I didn't feel right calling him my boyfriend. His actual name is Aaron. That's more simple, eh?

And thus it begins...

2010-03-10T19:17:00.000-08:00

For years I've been writing in journals... dozens are in boxes for proof. I've dotted off and on with the online blog scene. Slightly hesitate due to the non-privacy of it all. Now I've decided to keep with it, writing down my thoughts and feelings on life, love, my child, work and the world in general. There will be a lot of opinions here, so please be respectful.

If you don't know me already, my name is Katie. Good start to it all, huh? I'm a young mother of one, Darrell Alan. Little boy of three, I call him my sunshine. The light to my world, that might seem unhealthy but with everything that I've gone through the past few years, he's the first best thing that's ever happened to me.

The second best thing that's ever happened to me is my... I don't really know what to call him. I believe it's to childish and highschool-ish to call him my boyfriend. Life partner? Soul mate? Person who puts up with me? You pick, he's it. I don't even want to think where I'd be today without him. Probably six feet under. He's picked me up literally from the street and has made me who I am today. Giving me the hope and encouragement to become a better mother, a better friend and a better person.

I'm not as judgmental as I use to be, I still have my criticisms. But it's at a global level now. There is so much WRONG with this world, I don't even want to start. I know I am only one person, I know that only a handful of people actually care what happens to the next generation. But it's important, what we leave behind is what our children have to pick up, some which their lives depend on it.

So on a happy note, this is what's beginning. A new blog. Will it stay? I hope so....