Monday, April 26, 2010

The question of the century, SAHM or WM?

I could not do those heels! 

With Mother’s day approaching us, and the future on my mind, I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between Stay at Home mothers and Working Mothers. The stresses that both jobs bring upon a woman and the differences between the two.

I honestly can’t find any statistics for 2009 after the economic downfall when families begun to rethink their finances and their future. How many mother’s had to decide to go back to work or how many have decided to weigh it out, hoping for the best. In my case, I’m looking for a little of both worlds. Working from Home.

The debate between SAHM and WM has been the talk for the past 20 some odd years. The economical standpoint of it all is mainly, can you afford it? Both ways. The cost of daycare has risen in the past 5 years, at an average of 300-500 dollars a week. Low paying jobs don’t give you an option of a daycare onsite, so you’re stuck with either paying for it yourself, having a trusted family member watch your children, or receive public assistance. The last, I’ll explain the uproot of Western NY in a bit.

The cost of commuting, business clothing, and other expenses weighs together on is it really worth it? For some people, most people, they have no choice. The idea of getting an extra 100 dollars a week after the cost of going to work is worth more than not having a paycheck at all. For others, it’s a choice. Going forth on their careers, maybe the children are in middle or high school where they’re more independent after school to take care of themselves. Or maybe they just enjoy their jobs that much, personally if I had my dream job as a journalist, I wouldn’t think twice about not going to work.

Then the debate on staying at home. Raising your own children instead of someone else doing it. I know this sounds harsh but the 9+ hours that parent’s aren’t around their children really do affect them in a profound way. The influence of the daycare workers and the other kids influence how your child is raised. Their ideas and philosophy’s bring on a different view of life other than your own, if they don’t co-exist, then this can be a problem.

I give major kudos for both Working Mothers and Stay at Home moms. In the 4 years that my son has been alive, I’ve been both. Working a full time job and trying to maintain a household is extremely hard. On top of that, my partner is going to school full-time. It’s all in the balance, and the time management. We do certain things on some days and other things can not be doing during the days that we work. Our social life and holidays are based on our work schedule.

Being at Stay at Home Mom, I had the pleasure of seeing my son’s first crawl, walk, and talk. The first milestones of a long life ahead of him. Patience and learning how to not go insane was the first things I learned. I couldn’t just not plan anything on a daily basis just like working outside of the home, I had to have a game plan or everyday was boring and no structure.

So here’s the question of the century. Which one do you prefer? Working from home? Staying at home and not working? Or working away from home?

Are there anymore options that I missed?

Also, I found this quiz to determine your “Mom Paycheck”. Don’t we all wish we could get this in our mail each other?


  1. You know over in Europe some of the Scandinavian nations actually do provide stay at home moms with a paycheck.

    I think it comes out when you adjust rates to 35,000 a year American.

  2. I have been a very part timework at home mom...

  3. I've been struggling with this a lot. I've been at home this past year but some days really want to get back to work. I'm worried about career advancement and starting over. But on the other hand, I don't know how we would manage day care. I think every mom struggles with it but finding the balance is key. And I totally agree with having a game plan every day... it's easy to get stuck in lazy day mode when your at home and a plan really helps you keep motivated!

  4. I couldn't do those heels either:)

  5. Great post! Following from MBC. Please check out my blog at

  6. I started as a working mom. And then daycare costs, fuel costs, everything went up... except my paycheck. My husband and I sat down to crunch numbers and for our personal situation, we would save money by me staying home. The problem was, I never wanted to be a SAHM. I figured, having worked so much, that I would go crazy!!! I even tried working part time evenings just to get out of the house.

    I finally succumbed and now I love it. But having been both, both are equally hard, just in different ways.

    I hate Mommy War stuff. To all those things we moms fight each other about (and why.. WHY do we do this to each other when we need so much support?), the one truth I have gleamed is that there is no right or wrong answer that can blanket each Mommy. I just hope each Mom gets to do what she wants, and is not forced to do something she doesnt. That there, is the hardest pill to swallow =(

  7. I stay at home and work a couple nights a week. I would love to stay home ALL the time! I'm following your from MBC.

    Feel free to follow back! I have a giveaway going on until 4/30


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