Monday, May 3, 2010

Ode to the death of a Sex Life

Almost everyday there’s an on-going battle in our house. He comes to me first, and then I to him, back and forth. We keep mentioning the fact that so-and-so needs to get done first or my son is still awake.

It's even worse if we say anything at work. Have I ever mentioned we work together? Like in the same building, on the same floor. It's torture some days but great others. Especially when you need to bitch about someone and you know he's not going to say anything because our livelihood is on our jobs.

ANYWHOO But it always ends the same, I fall asleep with Darrell in bed relentlessly trying to get him asleep.

Why does our sex life die with children? The hiding in the bathroom or the subtle glances at the dinner table, it always ends the same. The day long adventure of a good tease. Seriously, I think that I could be great at those sex-talk hotlines but never go through with anything. My excuse would be “Sorry, I‘ve got to be up by 9am to watch Team Umnizoomi”. Complete turn off huh?

Kinda strange to try to explain those long distance calls too.

And the fact that I look forward to a children's show in the morning.

Scratch that. Completely.

I’ve been told by many of men that I’m a MILF, I look at them straight in the face and ask are you kidding because you’re making me ROLF. My son killed my body, or whatever was left of one. Never skinny, never toned, never perfect. Carrying 9 lbs of pure baby and adding in the whopper a day I didn’t have a graceful pregnancy.

So, I’m pretty sure now that he’s just keeping me on my toes, not wanting to see the elephant that emerges in bed.

Because, c’mon, who else will do the dishes?


  1. If you have family nearby that would take the bebe for a few hours or more, I would suggest that you plan a good old-fashioned 'date night' at least once a month. You don't even need to go out of the house, just spend time together. I think that husbands and wives tend to neglect their own core relationship when babies come along. Time totally alone together, whether out or just curled up together on the couch watching a good movie and talking about just anything can help keep you close.

  2. I feel ya! My honey tells me all the time "I tried to wake you up" but I am gone-dead to the world. Sometimes I miss the good ole days of marathon sex-LOL Not with kids no way :)
    Today I am going to be featuring you on my pages in Blogs Worth Blogging About- I always enjoy reading your posts.

  3. LOL! Isn't it a shame how the kids put the flame out? People always want to pity the husbands, but the truth is that WE miss it too! I really enjoye this!


Use your right to freedom of speech!